October 1, 2020

James Cushing

THE MAN WITH THE CORPSE ON HIS SHOULDERS

I know a man who carries a corpse on his shoulders.
Yesterday, at sunset, I thought I saw
a lump of what had been a foot, or a smear of what
maybe was a face, just to the side of my friend’s pant leg
down by the unshined toes of his brown saddle shoes.
It was the dead, gray, mortal thing, beautiful and real
in some way no one can explain—the corpse he carries
and the way he carries it—so much so that
when I hear a bossa nova, I think of him, and when
I try to write a poem, sure and frank and flashing
with sex and wisdom and all the things I want to include,
like my friend and the corpse he carries, I think of him again.
Today he told me “Stay away from me, I’m sick.”
I told him his shoes were in a poem I was writing,
but that’s not true: the shoes escaped me
while he hoisted his corpse. Back home,
he props it in its chair for the night, so it may watch
him dreaming.

I carry a corpse, too.
Here it is, in my black-and-tan book bag, next to my green
Plato. Look at it. His face, uncorrupted, has lost what rage
it ever had. His white hair, grown past his shoulders,
feels so delicate; strands show up on tabletops, sweaters,
bowls of soup. His veiny hands, covered in loose,
translucent skin, clasp one another as though he were
meeting himself and felt on fire with the need
to touch. Some trouble with his belt: it keeps unbuckling,
catching my book bag, scraping my right ear
as I force his body into it. The bag-weight hurts my shoulder,
pulls me to the right as I try walking a straight line.
I love the work I make when carrying him, love
the hurt of his buckle on my ear, the chafing of my
shoulder, the ache in my arm, my full bladder, sleep-amoebas
swimming in front of all I see.

Through this nest of floating
shapeless things, I see my friend walking to his car, stopping
to adjust the corpse’s feet so they don’t kick him every step.
I see him the way I sometimes see haloes a few inches above
the heads of strangers, or statues making tiny movements
with their eyes. I think I’ll ask him if I may sleep tonight
in his back yard. The radio predicted comets, shooting stars,
and it’s dark enough out there for them to seem real.

from Rattle #29, Summer 2008

__________

James Cushing: “The question ‘who you are and why you write poetry’ is quite relevant to this poem. I wrote this poem for, and about, a dear friend and fellow-poet who teaches with me in the English Dept. at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. His name is Kevin Clark, and he also has a poem in this issue. I think we are wounded into poetry. Something unexpected rocks our developing world, and we (some of us) find language as the healing, strengthening tool. Kevin Clark has told me that the death of his father, Allan was the starting-point for his poetry—that loss, at age twelve—and that this loss has been a factor in his career as a poet. When I learned that describing his response to that loss was also describing myself, the poem took shape.”

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June 2, 2020

Rayon Lennon

ANY LIGHT

A low sound
Missiles towards me
But doesn’t rip
My head off. I turn, jump
And shout like a castaway
Hailing a rare ship.
Apparently another golfer
On the breast of a hill
Had lost sight
Of me out in the heart
Of the pine-framed
Valley fairway.
He doesn’t blast
Another one. I wait
For him, watching wind
Smack leaves. I regard
Him, a white 20-
Something-year-old sporting
An otherworldly smirk
And a gray golf bag full
Of mirror-clean
Clubs. I stand back
To ward off possible
Killer Covid.
He drinks
Poland water, this kid,
And says he only saw
Me after he launched
His murderous shot. I look
At his yellow ball half-
Buried in the bunker
Growing old with new
Twilight. I’m in Sunday
Tiger red, I point out.
“That’s a color
Anyone would recognize
In any light.” He backs up
And concedes he saw me
After all. But hadn’t believed
His strength could reach
Me. “Believe it,” I tell him.
And wish him health, this kid
Who might grow up to be
A judge or a cop. The wind kicks
The flagstick. I hit my ball
To 7 feet. I kneel to read
The left-to-right putt. I stay down
A while, looking up
Into the empty bowl
Of sky, thinking
About that officer
In Minnesota who knelt
This way like a twisted
Prayer, on a black
Man’s neck until
Death entered
And consumed him
Even as he pled for more
Life. I rise. Light
Bloodies the trees.
I hit the putt and it swerves
And dies on the lip.

from Poets Respond
June 2, 2020

__________

Rayon Lennon: “In golf, the ultimate sin is to hit a shot while another player—playing a hole ahead—is close enough to be hit by the ball. This happened to me this week; I was struck by how cavalier the offending player seemed to be about the incident as though he had hit the shot in my direction because I were invisible to him. And so when I knelt to read the putt, it brought up prayer and George Floyd’s cruel death by a policeman’s knee.” (web)

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March 2, 2020

Tyler Mortensen-Hayes

AUTUMN ELEGY

I hold the pen & notepad, raised
to each other, but not touching.
Outside, the air thickens with
cold. Wind lifts the stiffened branches

of the apricot, wiping away
a few more of its leaves.
This is the shallow entrance
to winter, when sunflowers shrivel

like the faces of dead animals
on the roadside; when the earth
slows its breathing
& everything sinks into the long,

gray sleep. There was another murder
last night—another man, like me—
wide meadows of lives closed
by his gun. I am trying to write,

trying to do what I am able.
I sit in the warm house while everywhere
flowers wilt into nothing. Soil hardens
to ice & nothing gets in

or out. The apricot tree falls
to pieces around itself—
shriveled stones of fruit
thud below, & are buried,

slowly,
by the snow.

from Rattle #66, Winter 2019

__________

Tyler Mortensen-Hayes: “I read recently that 39 U.S. states require their schools to hold regular active shooter drills. Imagine that. A country where we have to prepare our children for mass violence as if it were a fire, or an earthquake—unpredictable, unfathomable, yet entirely feasible. As if it comes from out of the very ground on which we raise them to walk.”

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May 18, 2020

Amy Miller

HIGHER LOVE

At the emergency animal clinic, I’m standing
in the bathroom thinking the crying room
big and softly lit, a plant in a corner, the walls
airbrushed in grays and browns. The only place
in the building you can be alone. I remember
meeting a woman one night in this clinic waiting
for her Collie, injury treated, disaster over,
big bill paid. She told me she’d lost count
of how many times she’d been there over the years.
This is the first one I’ve brought home alive.

It’s the 4th of July weekend and hell’s broken loose
out there, the stories I heard in the lobby—bitten
by another dog, hit by a car, ate a box of candy,
foaming at the mouth from some new med.
My own cat 16 years old and stricken down
so suddenly that all he could do was lie
like a fallen tree and watch me though the vents
in the carrier all during the half-hour drive.

The stay is two days, the bill two pages long,
and now I’m standing here in the bathroom thinking
of people crying, though they say I can bring him
home tomorrow, just one more night of fluids
under the futuristic hoses and wires and dark-faced
monitors, his orange body blanketed in a warm balloon
of air while the vet tech types numbers on a pad,
a distant dog shrieking, a sound I can still hear,
that carries through God knows how many walls.
I wash my hands and push through the door

into the lobby and hold it open because a woman
is running toward me, her face swollen as a bee sting,
wet, her shoulders convulsing, a sound drowning
in her mouth. She rushes past, and I don’t dare
look, but I can see everyone—the lobby full, couples
and singles and families, some waiting with a dog
or a cat, some sitting alone with their phones and Cokes
from the machine, maybe fifteen people, every one
looking at her, and—reader, you have to see this—
every one with a face full of love and complete
recognition. No judgment, irony, glad-it’s-not-me,
a whole room of understanding while she pulls
the door shut and latches it to cry for the baby

that I now see—I remember this man from earlier,
how she sat with him in the waiting room when I did—
and in his arms he carries a small body, terrier-size,
wrapped tight in a blue blanket head to foot,
motionless as he bears it through the front door
into the parking lot. I follow him out,
but I can’t see any more—how gently he lays it
on the back seat, I’m guessing—because I’m
getting in my own car, eyes down, letting him
have his peace alone. To intrude, to help—
it just isn’t done, or I don’t know how, and neither

did anyone back there, though we all know exactly
how high that love goes, most of us with no kids
or ones that are grown, most of us lying in bed at night
with a dog or cat snoring softly in the half-light,
the not quite deep-death night but the still-living kind
that makes us want to stay awake an hour longer,
the air outside alive with tires on the road and those crickets
that only started up a week ago and now sound like
they’ll keep singing that aria forever, even when
we all know sooner or later it will have to end.

from Rattle #67, Spring 2020
Students of Kim Addonizio

__________

Amy Miller: “I was in Kim Addonizio’s private workshop for about a year. This was in 2001, and I took several of her multi-week courses. Kim was a fair-minded but tough critiquer; she had a way of cutting right to what she called the heart of the poem, the thing that gave it life, and pointing out lines that dulled that heart’s impetus or drifted too far away from it. Her toughness, more than anything, had a lasting effect on my writing. I learned to revise brutally, to sift through workshop comments just as dispassionately, and to stick up for a poem when its unique voice or vision was getting lost in the rewrite. Her workshop was a sort of crucible, a hot forge that made me stronger as a writer, a better judge of my work and others’, and I think it’s very hard to keep going as a writer without that kind of toughness. I know I just said ‘tough’ about five times. I loved that about Kim.” (web)

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December 23, 2019

Laura Kasischke

THE ODYSSEY

So, she rowed her little boat
back home
to Ithaca, alone, after

not having seen her own
image in a mirror for so
long she couldn’t know
exactly how the sun and salt
had changed her face—no
more enameled cheekbones or
feathered eyelashes, almost

no eyelashes now
at all. And

her lips (once a bloodred bow)
now two scaly strips, chalk
white, thinned, meeting
in a stillborn’s kiss.
And those

others lips, the labia—
withered, stinking, just
like every other flap and fold
of her, spoiled
cat food, woolly fish. And with
her fingers, she could feel
the spillage of the pleats and scraps and
excess that was now her neck. No

mirror was required
to know
what a neck that felt like that
to her own touch
would look like
to a man. Nor
did she need to see her backside
now to know what it meant—
the pain that had grown
sharper and stranger
over the years
when she sat too long, even
in sand, in grass, that

she was no Callipygian now—
although she’d modeled
her buttocks for a sculpture of one
once, in a time that somehow
felt as if it hadn’t
been so long ago.

But still she was so strong! Still, how
swiftly she could row! A man
her age would still—

Well, consider her husband, she supposed.
He’d be gray at the temples
and the testicles, now. Eyes
a permanent, machinating squint. His
voice, wind sifted over inconsistent grit.
But some girls and poets
liked such men. That

sculptor’s antlered hands
on her buttocks as he sculpted them.
Her stupid, candlelit sandals
on his stupid, little rug. She didn’t

kid herself her husband had been
weaving and unweaving a shroud
or anything else
for twenty years while she’d been off
pursuing her career, even if she felt
she’d been doing it as much
for him as for herself.

Or that the dog
was still alive. Or that the swineherd
hadn’t retired. Or that some new war
hadn’t started, to which their son had not
happily sailed off, wearing a thin and shiny
breastplate, as easily pierced by an arrow as dive-
bombed by a gull.

But, like everyone else who’s ever left
what she loved, she’d
woken up every fucking rosy-fingered dawn
and thought of them. And
now, finally, she was

close enough to see
the pale familiar ragged edge
of home, from which
she’d sailed away reluctantly, with so
much hope, and how, even
from this distance
it hadn’t changed a bit.

Yes, there it is.
The oral tradition.
All its
bruising and creaming and blooming
and spuming onto the cliffs
and into the branches of the olive trees
and onto the flat, gleaming bellies
of the naked nymphs—all
our glamorous nonsense.
There it is again.

Of course, if she’d arrived, it would
have astonished all of them. After
all the places she’d been, after
the battles she’d fought, the honors
she’d won, she might have inspired
a hundred generations
of girls to follow her into that distance.

Instead, as
you know, she
slipped herself into the wine
dark sea with her oars.

Of course, this choice was wrong.

So, let’s say she didn’t.
We weren’t there, after all.
Okay.

Instead, let’s say
a woman of a certain age
washes up on a shore
on a sunny day
instead of her empty boat
after twenty years away. She

steps out, looks
around, and—

well, here, I’m afraid, we
have to pause. In

this case, we have to pause
for centuries, I’m sorry, for
centuries filled with silence, without
immortalization

because a question occurs to her, just
as it occurs to us, and to which
no answer ever comes:

Where is the bard
who sings this song?

from Rattle #65, Fall 2019

__________

Laura Kasischke: “All the little whispered sentences being passed around in other rooms when I was a child: there were so many things the adults discussed in such hushed tones. I knew I’d never be able to hear them, but I couldn’t ignore them either. Those words were being spoken in a tone that told me that what was being said was too terrible or too dangerous, or too powerful perhaps, to allow some child to hear. So, I filled in the details myself, and I’ve been doing it ever since, and especially now that it feels more urgent and transgressive than ever, since they’re all dead, and together, and they don’t even need a door now to shut me out forever.” (web)

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April 15, 2019

Courtney Kampa

IN CHARLOTTESVILLE AFTER CHARLOTTESVILLE

Tonight they’ve hung up lights in lilts across 2nd
and Water Street on the downtown mall, a Christmas choir

singing Oh Holy Night—twenty-four people lined
against the painted brick wall, its peeling curls—the wall

Will knelt beside on one knee, face full of fear, a sidewalk of gum
and toppled ice cream, to ask if I could always call him

mine—the same wall we crouched against in August,
shielding our heads with our arms, our bags, our books,

whatever we brought along that might protect us
from the rocks and spit they threw,

their emptied tear gas canisters hurled by arms roaring
with blood, their faces doing that angry Goya thing

with the colors. My mother called hours
after Heather breathed last, called

to make sure our front door was locked;
that I remembered tomorrow was a Holy Day

of Obligation, and if I didn’t go to church it would be
a mortal sin. Her own version of danger. That time in August

flowers weren’t blooming but there was one frail rose
on our rented front yard, and we could see it

from the upstairs window, the rose, but also
the gunmetal gray Dodge, plate GVF 1111, three houses

down, abandoned and blood-caked from taking
Heather’s life and mowing over others, full throttle forward

then revved into reverse, the steel front bumper
severed, like two arms bent, palms up

and sorry. A car to take a person places, not to take
someone away, and at the window Will became more beautiful

to me, his fingers on the glass, all of them his. Now, sort of,
mine too. The driver ran into the woods to crouch

and hide out like a squirrel. We walked our dog
through those woods that morning, green

and lush, as if beauty’s sole defense
is to always just be beautiful. On that Feast of the Assumption

Charlottesville opened their eyes as if a body
punctured. Tiki torches on fire. Adult children playing

with their fathers’ guns. There is a sound a body makes
when bounced off the hood of a car

that no one should hear. Tonight snow falls
peacefully, and the choir sings Fall

on your knees, and because we have nothing else to give, we do.

from Rattle #62, Winter 2018
Rattle Poetry Prize Finalist

__________

Courtney Kampa: “Charlottesville is where I fell in love, both with the man I married and also with writing, as a student at UVA. Everything I am thankful to have, I owe to Charlottesville. It’s difficult to fully express. That affront to everyone’s humanity was not just evil, but deeply personal. It was in our backyard, and the backyards of those I love so utterly much. So I wrote the poem. It took five months to make sure that what I had written had done its best little attempt to get it okay. It’s still not okay, and it never will be.” (web)

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July 31, 2019

Chris Anderson

MISREADING DARWIN

He lived not only his own life,
he lived also in the lives of others.
—Janet Browne,
Charles Darwin

I. Chemistry, the Cultural Approach

We didn’t have to do experiments, we just had to think about them,
and that’s my method still.
I don’t like specimens. I like shelving. Not collecting but collections.
The way Darwin said he abhorred the sea, every wave and slap,
the whole five years, but loved his tiny cabin beneath the poop deck,
with its nooks
and crannies and clever drawers, though of course
he was really out there, too, scrambling over rocks and skinning iguanas.
He could do it all: geology, zoology, botany.
Back home in County Kent he spent the mornings in his study
surrounded by his books and instruments.
He loved to write on foolscap. Sometimes a sentence. Sometimes a word.
He wasn’t an atheist. He was just very, very slow.
He was polite.
I am the vine, you are the branches, as Buzz Aldrin said from the moon,
after the Eagle landed.
But this was off-mic, of course. He was quoting Jesus.

 

II. Cartoon Eyes

Darwin wrote sitting on a chair
with a board spread across his lap.

He was always sending his children out
to collect beetles and report on the pigeons,
and he was always asking farmers
what they had seen and what they knew,
and shopkeepers, and the postman.

Anybody. He was interested.

I have a laptop, of course,
and so I often write in chairs.
Yesterday what I saw was a bushtit
fluttering in the ivy,
and when I went to investigate
I saw that it couldn’t fly anymore.
It was injured and hiding.

It looked right at me, blinking
the two black dots of its eyes,
and as it blinked
nothing else on its body moved.
It was otherwise still.

I think it knew me.
I think it knew it was dying.

 

III. Addendum to My First Poem about Darwin

When I say that Darwin wasn’t an atheist
I just mean that he seems like such a nice man.
He was shy. He was sad. He was flatulent—
that’s why he always excused himself after dinner.
He spent eight years studying barnacles,
everything about them, until he was the world’s expert
on barnacles, all the different kinds,
with all their hard shells and their soft, creamy bodies.
He loved to walk in his garden,
admiring the trees, but only at the appointed time.
His house was the ship and his wife
was the captain and he was the voyager,
alone with his thoughts every day, filling page after page.
The children told time by the creak of his door—
though they were always racing in, too,
stealing a rock or a feather, and he let them,
and sometimes he played with them or took them
in his arms and kissed them on the ears,
and when his little Annie died he so forgot himself
in a letter to a friend he called her a little angel.
An angel. He just couldn’t believe
she was gone. He just wasn’t thinking.

 

IV. On the Surface

Darwin married his cousin, Emma,
and later came to love her dearly.

I met Barb in the band—she played the drums
and I played the clarinet—
and I loved her from the start.

After their second child died, the youngest,
a boy, Darwin bought a billiard table.
He researched it thoroughly first
and bought the best, and he liked to play
as he was thinking,
banking shots off the soft, velvet edges.

My brother and I used to play pool
down at Gazebos, in a shadowy corner
beneath a big hanging light,
the felt a brilliant, emerald green,
but I never sat at the bar until a week
after Barb and I were married.

I’d just turned twenty-one and Dad
bought me a beer
and we sat and talked. It was surreal.
It just didn’t seem possible.
Everything was still on the surface.

 

V. My Mystery Bird

At Nestucca once I saw a Swainson’s Thrush sing,
but I had to live there first, for a month, in the alder above the bay.
It was chilly and damp in the morning, and I was very lonely,
but I had my little coffee pot, and my Post-it-Notes
flew like flags, and finally I saw it happening, early one evening,
lit by the sun, the way they tip back their heads
and let the song pour forth, their soft throats bubbling.
Now there’s this mystery bird in my neighbor’s yard across the street,
singing in the blackberries. It could be
a Black-throated Gray Warbler, or a Hermit Warbler, or even
a Townsend’s, but there’s no way to know unless I actually see it,
unless I can stand on the road and wait,
looking into the thorns, while the cars drive by and the world goes on,
and I do. Minutes at a time. I want to see this one, too.
The way my brother says he feels the wine slide down his throat
when he drinks from the cup at mass.
The way he says he can feel it: that warmth. That burning.

from Rattle #64, Summer 2019

__________

Chris Anderson: “I’ve been reading a lot lately about science and religion and about environmental theology, and that led me to Darwin and to this wonderful biography by Janet Browne. It’s so beautifully written, and Darwin comes out of it as such a fascinating English-country gentlemen. I found myself oddly identifying with him, even though—and then exactly because—I realized that in the poems I started to write, in this sequence, I was getting him wrong, sort of turning him into a believer when he wasn’t. That became the theme of the sequence. Darwin became a way for me to explore the border between science and religion in myself.” (web)

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