“A Time to Heal” by James Stevahn

James Stevahn


Bipolar disorder (Noun) A psychiatric disorder marked by alternating episodes of mania and depression. That is a fact. Here is my slice of that storm.
A dark storm rolls in
Then moved on; the sun comes out
The dark storm returns.
This is a cycle that happens daily. Sometimes multiple times a day. It is a permanent part of my life.
A volcano sounds
anger, rage, destruction, BOOM
rage spent, now dormant
Without proper medical attention, the mood swings are like an active volcano, so much destruction, then it’s dormant again till the next eruption. Sometimes even medicine doesn’t help. 
Deep dark, void, soundless,
echo, cavernous, soul dead.
My head my dark cave
The darkness can paralyze me. Stopping action and thoughts to fight, cling, and climb out. Someone who has a phobia-induced anxiety freeze can sort of relate to this feeling. 
A beautiful day
sun, warmth, peace, good day
waiting for downfall
Most days are unpredictable. The good and happy highs are always followed by dark depths. The frequency and intensity of these cycles will vary. Sometimes so extreme it hurts and/or is shameful. 
A view of my life
see what I deal with daily
this is my story
I hope this story has affected you in some way. It’s the truth. It is hard to open up sometimes, but I have, and this is for you. 

from Rattle #76, Summer 2022
Tribute to Prisoner Express


James Stevahn: “Because of a long sabbatical, I took up writing, first as journaling to deal with my ‘new’ way of life. This morphed into short stories and poems, and now my first book, Black Hills Apocalypses, which is available on Amazon. What started as therapy is now a part of life. I hope you enjoy my very personal poem.”

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