“They Mustache Him Some Questions” by Steve HennPosted by Rattle
Steve Henn
THEY MUSTACHE HIM SOME QUESTIONS
“Impeachment investigators are in talks with a lawyer for John Bolton about bringing the mustachioed former national security adviser in for a closed-door deposition …”
—New York Times Impeachment Briefing
… the hairy-lipped former Bush White House insider
is expected to be candid in his smudge-faced, hoary-mouthed
assessment of the Trump White House. He of the hirsute
nose-ledge battled with Trump on several issues, not the least
among them the policy on North Korea, with their
sickeningly clean-shaven and weak-shouldered dictator, and also on
Iraq, who for years we could rely on to broadcast the sweet,
sexy ’stache of Saddam “the human Rom Com” Hussein.
The follicle-face-feathered family man is a favorite
of conservatives—when he bites the corn dog
of Trump’s mishandled Ukraine situation don’t expect
one dollop of ketchup to be saved for later to savor
in the flavor-saver above his upper lip. Bolton
has appeared on Fox News, gaining him traction with
conservatives, who turn to his bountiful ’stache, his
regal, manly ’stache, whenever the cleanshaven face
of our own Baby Hitler disappoints them. In other news
our Tinfoil Hat Commander in Chief claims he’s comparable
to Lincoln, as if donning a tophat and calling oneself honest
is just as mustacherrific as saving the union, and freeing the enslaved.
Steve Henn: “When I saw in the daily emailed update from the New York Times that the writer took pains to refer to John Bolton as ‘mustachioed,’ I couldn’t help but imagine the scribe behind the story had some strange and silly fixation on facial hair. I used to write in a satiric mode a lot, and don’t nearly as often now, but I do like the idea of taking the wind out of the sails of self-aggrandizing heads of state with well-placed ridicule. A second story, earlier this week, noted what’s mentioned at the end of the poem—that our President is fond of telling everyone within earshot how much he reminds himself of Abraham Lincoln—even his poll numbers, he says, are better.” (web)
Steve Henn: “This poem is the true (-ish) story of the lengths I will go to avoid awkward conversation with other soccer parents. When I read it aloud for poetry people I typically read the last line of dialogue as ‘can anybody tell me / what ‘foreskin’ means?’” (web)
Steve Henn is the guest on Rattlecast #68! Click here to watch …
Steve Henn: “I don’t often write directly about my mental health issues in my own poems. Two different times I’ve enjoyed extended stays in some of the most unhelpful psychiatric wards Indiana has to offer, but not since 1999. I see a good psychiatrist usually four times a year, and stay on my medication always. Doc S. says I’m bipolar with generalized anxiety disorder, and it’s the most accurate diagnosis I’ve ever received. I work full time and raise four kids alone—it’s important to me not to use my diagnosis to justify learned helplessness or to make excuses for myself. We get by.” (website)
Steve Henn: “This poem is in response to Chris Cornell’s suicide this week. Suicide is an issue that has touched me personally and has touched my old bestie from high school, Zeb, and the poem is an attempt to write my friend a thoughtful response to Cornell’s death and our shared history that I couldn’t quite capture in a text to him on the day of Cornell’s suicide this week.” (web)
Steve Henn: “One of the classes I teach in an Indiana high school is a dual-credit IU freshman composition course, followed in the spring by a dual credit IU Literary Interpretation course. I am considered IU faculty as a teacher of the course, and am not remunerated for my services, although the training for it is paid for by IU. The students pay for and earn IU credit for the courses. In that sense, I’m another source of cheap labor for the Indiana University system. This poem was written in the past year, during my second time teaching the L202 course and third time teaching freshman comp.” (web)
Steve Henn: “I don’t know if you’re tired of election-cycle poems. This dream happened after discussing The Bachelor with a former student and, among other election cycle crap stuffed into my consciousness, the question of whether or not Johnson or Stein will get to debate was part of my ‘newsfeed.’ It was a featured issue on the profile of Johnson on 60 Minutes on Sunday.” (website)
Steve Henn: “For a time I kept running into my brother’s old buddy at the bar. Every once in a while he’d preface a story with ‘now, don’t make fun of me, but …’ His commitment to going through the slurry cleanse was one such story. I never did find out if he went through with it.” (web)
You must be logged in to post a comment.