August 7, 2008

Cortney Davis, RN, MA, ANP

NURSING AND THE WORD

First of all, I have to confess right off that I never wanted to be a nurse. When other ten-year-old girls were reading “Cherry Ames, Student Nurse,” I was riding my bike, pretending that my Schwinn was a bay stallion and together we were galloping down Sylvandell Drive in Pittsburgh, always under the gray cloud of steel-mill smog that hung in the sky. When I was twelve, my father, a public relations writer for Blue Cross, was transferred to New York City, and so we pulled up stakes, said good-bye to the smog and moved to Connecticut. I continued to ride my bike but alas, most of my new friends, just like the friends I’d left behind, thought about nothing but becoming nurses. They donned candy stripers’ uniforms and gave of themselves at St. Joseph’s Hospital while I signed up for Saturday art classes at the local museum. After high school graduation, my candy striper friends debated the size, shape and overall appearance of nursing caps—the main criteria for deciding which nursing schools they’d attend—and I went off to Gettysburg College where I wrote poems, wore black net stockings, played the guitar and grew my hair down to the middle of my back. The thought of giving someone a bedpan or even a bed bath gave me the creeps. But life has a way of sending us where we never thought we’d go.

Move forward several years: I’m married with a baby daughter and my husband and I aren’t meeting the monthly rent. His cousin, a nurse’s aide, suggests that I become a nurse’s aide too: on-the-job training, flexible hours, uniforms provided and, best of all, decent pay. Feeling somewhat up-against-the-financial-wall, I enrolled in the six-week course, got my blue uniform (eerily similar to a candy striper’s garb), bought white stockings and white Clinic shoes and went to work four evenings a week from 6 to 11:30. When I returned at midnight, all was quiet—the baby in her crib, my husband snoring in our bed.

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July 24, 2008

T. S. Davis, RN

A KIND OF GIFT

…I resign’d myself
To sit by the wounded and sooth them, or silently watch the dead…

I dress the perforated shoulder, the foot with the bullet wound,
Cleanse the one with a gnawing and putrid gangrene, so sickening, so offensive,
While the attendant stands behind aside me holding the tray and pail.

I am faithful, I do not give out,
The fractur’d thigh, the knee, the wound in the abdomen,
These and more I dress with impassive hand, (yet deep in my breast a fire, a burning flame.)
        —from the poem “The Wound-Dresser” from Drum Taps by Walt Whitman, 1865

Imagine Walt Whitman moving among the Union soldiers’ beds lined up like fallen dominoes, holding a dying boy’s hand, mopping a feverish brow with a cool cloth, bowing his head while a gangrenous soldier prays for his life, touching water to parched lips. What’s the connection between being a nurse and a poet? I don’t know for sure. And I am a nurse. And a poet. I know the connection is elemental, almost primal, but it’s difficult to talk about, to analyze, without seeming almost voyeuristic.

I was a poet first and became a nurse later because I needed a day job to support my real profession. I wanted a vocation that would allow me to work awhile and quit, to move from place to place and always be able to find a job, to work whatever shift I wanted, and to get a decent wage for it. But there are other occupations that afford that, so what attracted me to nursing? Or more to the point, what has kept me a nurse? I had friends who were nurses, and surely that made a difference in my initial decision. But as every nurse knows, when you talk about your job, most people react by saying, I could never do that. Why is it that so many poets can?

I’d like to be able to argue that poets are a special breed, sensitive, compassionate, and empathetic, and certainly that may be true. There’s no doubt that those are traits needed to make a good nurse as well. But that’s not the whole story. Another trait of poets is the desire to strip away the trappings of civilization and the accoutrements of culture, to get down to the fundament of existence, to engage love, procreation, spirituality, death, to marvel at the universe revealed in a leaf of grass, and to somehow bear witness to it all with mere words. Nurses experience all this and more.

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July 20, 2008

Veneta Masson, RN, MA

CONGA! AT THE RIO

She’s sick but determined
to celebrate my coming
for the second round of chemo.

She stuffs her bra with shoulder pads
dons a long gown and a honey blonde wig
takes her anti-nausea pill.

You’re crazy, I say
eyeing her with angst and admiration
but it’s clear she won’t be swayed,

so we set off for the Strip
and the show she’s chosen,
“Conga! at the Rio.”

We’re asked to dance. I decline.
Dare I take pleasure at such a time?
I shake my head no—

even as she’s nodding hers yes.
She gathers herself and goes,
dances the finale center stage.

Every life has a theme
and this is mine: I am the nurse,
the soul of compassion

with much still to learn about
freeing my passion and kissing
joy as it flies.

We head for home in a haze of regret,
she, for the dance, over too soon,
me, for missing another chance.

from Rattle #28, Winter 2007

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Veneta Masson, RN, MA: “A nurse and poet, my special interest is healing art. ‘Conga!’ is one of a number of poems that had their origin in my experience of my younger sister’s illness and eventual death from breast cancer. Though Rebecca and I talked about our evening out on the way home (‘This will never happen again!’ I vowed, giving no thought to all this would come to mean), it took me years to get the poem right.” (web)

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July 19, 2008

Marsha Smith Janson, RN

SKY STAYS THE SAME

Coincidentally the summer when the gazelles
at the ecotarium kept jumping the fences
most of my married friends were having affairs.
We think we can but we cannot contain the heart.
We continue to give it our best shot
like the nurse saying roll up your sleeve.
The inoculation is planted but there is no cure
for the who you are and what you want.

Now even my mother seems to have forgotten
the early years when she held me by a window
as it snowed and three deer came out of the woods
to stand blinking and pawing: the way I do
before the mural painted on the building downtown,
Sojourner Truth marching with clouds,
the clouds anonymous in their lab coats.

It’s always the same sky, it’s just the weather
and the seasons that keep changing.
In spring I dust the pollen from my hands,
then, blink, the maples along the river begin to smolder
in their red coronas. Dry days.
I’ve got an unquenchable thirst and can’t sleep
because there’s such a whirring of wings.

Such thievery in the orchard, so many
boxes of fruit hoisted over the back gate
long after the workers have climbed down
from their ladders, the smoke from their tobacco
lingering long after they’ve gone home for the day.

from Rattle #28, Winter 2007

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July 13, 2008

Maggie Greene, RN

ALL-CONSUMING

You don’t know what it’s like, bugs eating you
from the inside out. They devoured any food
I ate so I stopped eating anything.
I’m tired of this life. I told my husband,
“DNR me, I’m too old for any more of this.”

I said, “No more.” So why was there
a feeding tube stuck down through my nose?
I pulled the tube, they tied my hands.
They said, “It’s for your own good.” Ha!
They’re just afraid I’d pull my IV line out, too.
I would, but that’s beside the point.

The point is that I’m lying here, wanting desperately
to scratch but am unable, what with these restraints.
The pretty nurse rubbed special lotion on me, told me
it would make the itching stop. Yeah, when?
Could she not see the lotion smells like fruit?

Thanks to her, the bugs move faster now.
They migrate from my belly to my flesh,
boring through my veins like Christian soldiers
marching off to war. The pot is sweetened.
They’re moving with a mission now. Soon enough
I’ll die, I guess, because they know what she did not.
Thanks to Florence Nightingale, my skin tastes just like pears.

from Rattle #28, Winter 2007

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July 10, 2008

Cheryl Dellasega, CRNP, PhD

DRESSING ROOM WITHOUT CURTAINS

They pose.
Young bodies mirrored to infinity.
Curves defined by underwire.
They model,
Clothes dangling price tags like jewelry.
They pirouette,
As spotlights touch their hair with gold.

My daughter.
Knows this drill.
Reaching to a row of costumes,
Trying each, then discarding.
The pile of castoffs grows while
I hover,
A voyeur in the doorway,
Dazzled by the bright hard image
Of girl on girl on girl.

from Rattle #28, Winter 2007

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Cheryl Dellasega, CNRP, PhD: “How women feel about their bodies has been a theme in many of my books; dressing rooms are the stage where many of these tensions get acted out. The freedom of the girls in this poem was amazing, and in direct contrast to a more recent experience where a girl modeled a size ‘zero’ prom gown for her mother. What does it mean to be nothing?”

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