“Jan Böhmermann the Great” by Wederic Eubals

Wederic Eubals


A goofy, silly jester is Jan Böhmermann the Great;
all sauerkraut and sausages, a schweinhund in the pate.
He can’t remove the rubber mask that is his face by fate,
and likes a skewered goat kebab with Greens upon his plate.
He shares his curds and wheys with young Miss Muffet on a date.
On sleepless nights he counts the sheep that leap Bran-den-burg Gate.
From Oldenburg to Regensburg, the satirist will prate;
the Germans like his jokes, the Chancellor upholds the State.
He is the star at every bar and every beer-hall fête,
and gobbles up Greeced Turkeys, which he loves to decimate.

Poets Respond
April 19, 2016


Wederic Eubals (an anagrammatic heteronym of Bruce Wise): “It’s very rare that a poem gets involved in international news, but last week one did, stirring the world by testing freedom of speech. I began by paraphrasing the poem, before writing about its author:

Ballsgoofy, cowardly and pressed is Erdoğan the Prez.
His balls stink pickled lamb kebab, a farting pig in fez.
He is the guy that whips the gals in rubber mask—the tease—
and likes to screw a goat while he restrains minorities.

It continues like that. Actually translating the German couplets is nigh-high impossible, because there are so many German innuendos. Generally the poem is vulgar in a teenage sort of way and not worth paying attention to (performing fellatio with 100 sheep, wrinkly testicles, etc.), because it’s just a joke. In one sense, the poem is mild because it really doesn’t take Erdoğan to task for the horrible things he actually has done.”

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