August 16, 2016

Gaylord Brewer

BEING A GOOD MAN

I’m sick of lugging this satchel
of bones from office
to woods, alphabetizing each knuckle,
burying hip joint or femur.
I get older; the bag gets heavier.

And this black hat pulled low
across my eyes like a coffin lid,
I don’t care anymore for
its rakish angle. I’d like to launch it
into some heavenly wind.

My clogs are out of fashion,
two soggy boats shuffling over a swamp
of bile. What’s the point
of silk socks with hearts
when all the world’s immutable mud?

And who can stand one more hour
in this morgue laughingly called my study,
steel drawers and shadow,
corpses of books stuffed to ceiling?
I need a tailor, an architect,

fellows who enjoy the trade
who’ll abide no more deathly nonsense.
A cutaway tux, track lighting.
Barring that I’ll wallow in blood.
I’ll kill us both every day of our lives.

from Rattle #18, Winter 2002
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August 11, 2016

Willie James King

THE EXISTENTIAL SELF

Once in a while an owl barks
above the black bog, and I turn
another page of a big book
that was written by a Russian
who tells an interesting tale
about a woman who cheats
on her husband, and who throws
herself before a train. If not a knife
or a gun, who hasn’t thought of
leaping from some point that’s final,
if only no more than a moment.
Outside, the wind moans
like a brooding woman
who is in constant conversation
with that owl as both know
the night is theirs. I put aside
the huge text to turn a phrase
that might become a poem, that
might capture my feelings, only as
close as words can come to naming,
or exacting the existential self

from Rattle #18, Winter 2002
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August 9, 2016

George Bilgere

UNWISE PURCHASES

They sit around in the house
Not doing much of anything: the boxed set
Of the complete works of Verdi, unopened.
The complete Proust, unread.
The French cut silk shirts
Which hang like expensive ghosts in the closet,
And make me look exactly
Like the kind of middle-aged man
Who would wear a French cut silk shirt.

The reflector telescope I thought would unlock
The mysteries of the heavens
But which I used only once or twice,
And which now stares disconsolately at the ceiling
When it could be examining the Crab Nebula.

The 30-day course in Spanish,
Whose text I barely opened,
Whose dozen cassette tapes remain unplayed,
Save for Tape One, where I never learned
Whether the suave American,
Conversing with a sultry-sounding desk clerk
At a Spanish hotel about the possibility
Of obtaining a room,
Actually managed to check in. I like to think
That one thing led to another between them
And that by Tape Six or so

They’re happily married
And raising a bilingual child in Seville or Terra Haute.

But I’ll never know.

Suddenly I realize
I have constructed the perfect home
For a sexy, Spanish-speaking astronomer
Who reads Proust while listening to Italian arias,
And I wonder if somewhere in this teeming city
There lives a woman with, say,
A fencing foil gathering dust in the corner
Near her unused easel, a rainbow
Of oil paints drying in their tubes
On the table where the violin lies entombed
In the permanent darkness of its locked case
Next to the dusty chess set,

A woman who has always dreamed of becoming
The kind of woman the man I’ve dreamed of becoming
Has always dreamed of meeting,

And while the two of them discuss star clusters
And Cezanne, while they fence delicately
In Castilian Spanish to the strains of Rigoletto,

She and I will stand in the steamy kitchen,
Fixing up a little risotto,
Enjoying a modest cabernet
While talking over a day so ordinary
As to seem miraculous.

from Rattle #18, Winter 2002
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December 12, 2015

Grace Bauer

REVISING MY VITA

Life should be a novel, not a resume.
—Dave Toomey

I’m trying to get the years to justify
along the right-hand column of the page,
to sum up my accomplishments concisely
in neat lists that spell success, make progress
apparent at a glance. It’s a strange brand of fiction,
this genre, in which chapters are reduced
to paragraphs, decades to mere lines.
The narrative
leaves out joy and pain, love and loss—
all the spaces between events deemed pertinent
to this plot we call the profession. Tradition demands
we maintain the illusion our actions will always
continue to rise. The very possibility of denouement
must be scrupulously (or un) avoided. And as for climaxes,
well, the less said about extracurricular activities,
the happier most colleagues are.
Character is best left
sketchy, defined by doing, since evidence
of an inner life is considered extraneous to the point.
What is required is exposition reduced to outline—
all the intended reader has interest in or time for.
In fact, one will often be asked to edit the story
down to less than bare bones—three pages max
I was asked for just last year.
But the version
I am fleshing out now is, supposedly, the full one,
and I’ve finally got my categories straight:
teaching and research and service lined-up like
dutiful soldiers prepared for parade or battle—
I’m not sure which. My headings are tabbed in.
In CAPS. In BOLD. I eye this representation
of myself scrolling down my pc screen.
That’s me,
all right—or a reasonable facsimile thereof.
Me, with a tidy, organized past. Me, with memories
selected to leave out detours and diversions.
It’s a story sans heart—that ambiguous antagonist
that always lays herself too wide open to critique,
her messy text too easy to deconstruct.
I print
the document that bears my name and scan
for correctable errors, knowing life is a course
of study I’ll never really be sure
I have passed. Until I have.

from Rattle #18, Winter 2002
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__________

Grace Bauer: “I am generally very fond of my students and the process of teaching, however, sometimes I find myself frustrated with the bureaucratic aspects of academia. Fortunately, I can vent those frustrations in poems such as the one above, with, hopefully, some humor and grace. Writing well is the best revenge.” (web)

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