March 7, 2023

Kerrin McCadden

INTERSECTION

At the four-way stop I wave you on,
a kindness. You wave no no, you go. I wave, go.
We keep on. You insist. Me: no you,
please. A bird shifts, a sigh. The penned
horse tosses, pacing. I mouth you go.
There is a fleck on your windshield. I notice your hands.
Rain falls. Your hands cup the wheel
at ten o’clock and two, then float
past my knee and only sometimes land.
One hundred times on my back, they tame me.
Cars line up. Birds lift. I nod my head into your chest.
There is a trail of clothing. I walk to the
plank door of your room. This takes hours
and hours. This is a small cottage and there is sand
on the floor and nothing on the walls, crows calling,
dishes in the sink. Days go by. We are still making
our way to the bed. This is an inventory:
black telephone, board games, frayed chairs,
coffee table spotted with the old moons of drinks,
curtains pulled back on tiny hooks, single pane glass
windows like the ones I used to sneak out of at night, lifting
them as slow as this stepping, and when you talk
into my neck the words settle in the hammock
of my collarbone, puddle there and spill,
slide over my breasts and I am slowly covered,
and rinsed. I do not close my eyes. Nothing hurts.
The dust rises in swirls. Dogs bark. You turn
your windshield wipers on intermittent.
Your car rolls into the space I have built between us.
I am up to my belly in a northern lake, cold. I am afraid now.
When I get home, everyone will see.

from Rattle #32, Winter 2009

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Kerrin McCadden: “I really like water, and birds—especially the Winooski River and swallows. I like to be the one who starts applause. I have recently learned to love olives. I love dailiness, hydrangea, old words and incongruous things, including a poodle. I write poems because they let me have everything I want, and words are better than yarn. Syntax, diction: knit, purl. And because a poem is an impossible thing, unlike a sweater. My evil twin is likely in one of my classes, and so I teach.” (web)

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July 12, 2015

Kerrin McCadden

IN PRAISE OF JONATHAN MATTHEW

God bless Jonathan Matthew, asleep
on the table, a piece of his liver plucked
out and planted in the jaundiced boy
from up the road, for Jonathan Matthew’s
weak thumbs-up, his face swollen, his wife
falling all over him lit by the kind of love
I don’t know yet, for the way the liver regrows,
in him and in the boy, to full-size within weeks,
like an ancient memory of starfish inside us,
for the pink cheeks on the boy from up the road,
just days later, who sits next to Jonathan Matthew
under a tree, the boy in a hospital gown and gloves,
Jonathan Matthew already in his work-clothes,
ready to respond to our heart attacks and house
fires when the siren warns the village,
our own Prometheus defying the gods.

Poets Respond
July 11, 2015

[download audio]

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Kerrin McCadden: “This poem is in response to small town news, but about something so shockingly beautiful that I can’t stop thinking about it. One of our volunteer firefighters just donated half of his liver to a teenager in our town, who was dying of liver failure. I live next door to the volunteer firehouse, and every time emergency vehicles leave, which is often, I’m undone by what that kind of volunteering means, but this? Oh my God. Jonathan Matthew is my neighbor, and now, also, some kind of god.” (website)

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January 3, 2011

Kerrin McCadden

ELEGY FOR SOME BEACH HOUSES

The break off Chatham broke and spilled
old homes into the sea, just spilled them
like dresser drawers pulled out too far,
quiet underthings sent flailing like old aunts
into the surf. Just seaside, just at the beach,
just where the generations had combed for
jingle shells, whelks, the unrecognizable
bones of fish. Just there, the houses tumbled,
like only a house can, full of argument, debris
and leftovers. Just there, the houses groaned
like only a house can, full of mouseshit, must,
armoires and settees, full of lobster trap
coffee tables, old letters, tattered rugs.
First the buckle of underpinnings, then the
hipbone joists, the planks, the studs. The walls
sighed like pages wanting to turn, illustrated
with photos of old dogs, children, words
like Beach, Happiness, Family painted on shingles.
There was tipping and buckling and the keening
of nails pulling out. A roof wanted to slide, whole,
into the sea, but failed, the ridgepole splintering.
Its backbone broken and all the bits finished,
the houses were quiet. The old china floated
a bit, small boats. Newspapers, books drifted.
Daily trappings went down fast—some lamps, buckets,
deck chairs. This is not to mention all that sinks
right off (a watch, jewelry left on the sill). The fish
looked as curiously as fish can look, bumped cold noses
against dolls, mirrors, dishtowels like seaweed in the dusted light,
turned sideways, finned off. Little housed mollusks
made no notice. The ocean settled and
breathed, wave, wave, wave.

from Rattle #33, Summer 2010

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Kerrin McCadden: “I wrote ‘Elegy for Some Beach Houses’ long after I left Cape Cod. I was home in the mountains of Vermont, thinking about the shifting shoreline, thinking about weeks on the Cape, and a history of families’ weeks on the Cape, and houses falling into the sea now, every year. This summer, there was a house hanging from a crane on a beach in Chatham. Its owner was trying to save it, but the piping plovers were nesting and the crane was not allowed to move until they fledged. The whole Cape watched—House vs. Seashore. Seashore seems to be winning.” (web)

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