February 1, 2013

from A CONVERSATION BETWEEN RHODA JANZEN AND ALAN FOX,
IN EAGLE ROCK, CA, OCTOBER 26th, 2011

Note: The following is excerpted from a 15-page conversation, which can be read in its entirety in Rattle #37.

FOX: So you can write in those other genres as a poet, using that sensibility.

JANZEN: I think so. Or at least, I don’t know, maybe it’s just that I was limited for so long in my own understanding of my skill set. And maybe I was so limited in this genre-box that I just didn’t learn enough of the joys that the other disciplines offer. I’m a creature of habit and I love what I know, so I take some of the things that I know and that’s what makes me love memoir, what makes me love fiction now, that I can apply these things in some fresh way to these other genres.

FOX: Well, also the idea of going home again … what’s the question … just rediscovering, in an immediate way, your community which you grew up in … I believe that what we grow up in affects us: if you’re born in Afghanistan, you’re going to like Afghanistan; if you’re born in Canada, you like Canada, just because we get used to it. Is that the way you feel about the community you grew up in?

JANZEN: No, no it isn’t. I spent fifteen years in the Mennonite community, the first fifteen years, those formative years, but I think any growing up that I did was actually after that. [laughs] I love that community. I was always aware that this was a community where the dangerous, scary things of the world didn’t really penetrate. So the serial killers and their unmarked white vans were hovering around the community—I felt sure that they were all there trying to take advantage of the girls, you know. I felt safe and sacrosanct in this community. And I could see, for example, that marriages in the Mennonite community seemed stable and monogamous and intentional, and I could see that families were tight and that there was support and that people loved each other. I could see that people wanted to go to church potlucks even though I couldn’t imagine why. I could see it. And those were things I knew I was lucky to be seeing, but they didn’t feed me in any real way, and in many ways they became the very things I wanted to set aside as I moved forward.

FOX: Do you feel in retrospect that your early years being in a very definite community point of view … I assume there’s some benefits and burdens from that.

JANZEN: Benefits and burdens, sure. Lots of practical benefits that now I’m just so glad I had, basic things like cooking and sewing and quilting and butchering and candle-making. Drop me in the middle of a desert island and I’m pretty sure I could kick desert island ass. So all of those things are in place for me. The other values, spiritual values and communal values—and character values, like, for instance, my parents’ notion that we are richly responsible for our own happiness. It prevents that victim shtick that happens so much on the part of contemporary culture; it just shuts it down and you just don’t really see that in the Mennonite community, at least the one in which I grew up. So really lovely values like that have prospered me, I think, and I have held them more and more dearly as I’ve gotten older. And then some of the negative values—I think any woman going through academia today would look back on some of that and raise her eyebrows about some of the gender stuff that was in place, the old patriarchal stuff.

FOX: Is that changing at all?

JANZEN: It is changing, and it was changing even when I was a child, when I was growing up. It wasn’t changing fast enough to suit me, and I had that impatience of young scholars who just want everything to instantly change. And if it’s not going to change, they’re going to immediately turn around and walk away to some place that has already changed. So it is beginning to change. There are still some areas, I think, where theologically I might part company with the position of some of the Mennonite churches, and probably more areas in which I would support what they believe. For instance, I would position myself today as a pacifist, as someone who’s interested in nonviolent resistance. That of course is one of the central organizing Mennonite tenets.

FOX: So what happened when you moved out of that and went to college?

JANZEN: [laughs] The usual thing that happens! Kids testing their power, kids beginning to suspect their skill set and moving violently, unwisely, toward it at too furious a pace. I married an atheist, and that was quite formative in how I structured my next twenty years. He was not just an atheist; he was an angry atheist who directed a lot of animosity toward organized religion. And he was very insightful, just gorgeously astute. His critical spirit combined with my own critical spirit and we created a third critical spirit between us. It was a really critical marriage. That shaped a lot of non-participatory judgment to my community of origin for many years, so much that I didn’t even go back very often.

FOX: Did that create a schism between you and your parents?

JANZEN: No, which I think is a testament to their maturity and their ability to walk in love no matter what. And I think I probably said and did some things that were pretty appalling, and they never made me feel unloved. They were always really cool.

FOX: That’s big.

JANZEN: That’s big. I remember when I called my mom to tell her I was—I can’t remember if I wrote this in the book so you can edit it out if it seems repetitive—when I was calling my mom to tell her I had met this guy and we were engaged now two months after we had met, her response was, “Rhoda, have you been drinking?”

FOX: Whoa.

JANZEN: That was her first response, and I knew even through that response that she would be loving, and that she would offer to make that wedding happen. And in fact she helped me make my wedding gown, which was lovely, even though I’m sure that she and my father were sitting there going, “This is a catastrophic decision for our daughter and this isn’t the husband for her.”

FOX: It sounds like your parents have reached a level of maturity that perhaps we all aspire to.

JANZEN: I aspire to it. I learn from them all the time. Every time I’m there I see something I want to work toward.

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December 13, 2012

INTERVIEW WITH BRUCE COHENBruce Cohen's Disloyal Yo-Yo
ON
DISLOYAL YO-YO

Dream Horse Press
PO Box 2080
Aptos, Ca 95001-2080
ISBN-10: 0982115539
ISBN-13: 978-0982115534
80 pp., $17.95, Paper
www.dreamhorsepress.com

Note: The following interview was conducted by Timothy Green over email during August of 2009.

GREEN: When I came across Disloyal Yo-Yo, my first thought was, Can this really be Bruce Cohen’s first book? We’ve published several of your poems and an essay at Rattle, and your work always has the consistency and depth of someone well into a poetry career. Tell me about the book’s journey. Did you only recently start sending manuscripts around, or have you been shopping them for a while? What was the lag-time between first poem published, and first book published?

COHEN: That’s so nice of you to say that, Tim. I can’t, of course, speak for other poets, but I surmise that the notion of the “first book,” for many, may be a misnomer. If anyone were foolish enough, or had bad enough taste, to publish what would have, in actuality, been my first book, I don’t think you’d be tossing around words like “consistency” and “depth.” I was extremely lucky to have studied at The University of Arizona in the late ’70s with Steve Orlen and Jon Anderson and, although I did not entirely appreciate it at the time, I was surrounded, inspired and greatly influenced by some of the most talented poets of my generation, who happened to be friends and fellow classmates. To name-drop just a few, David Rivard, Michael Collier, Bill Olsen, Tony Hoagland and David Wojahn. It was clear to me, being realistic not humble, that I was simply not as talented as those folks, nor was I as ambitious. Furthermore, I was a little intimidated, and not at all attracted to the prospect of scratching and clawing to get a book out in the hopes of landing a university job in Podunk.

I recognized a few things about myself—I was in love with my girlfriend, soon to be wife, and wanted to raise a family. And I intuitively suspected that if my career were dependent upon poetry, my poetry might get stale and suffer. I didn’t want to publish a weak book. I liked money and comfort a little more than most poets seem to. And I worshipped poetry to the point that I didn’t really feel in a rush to publish. I knew I would compose poems for my entire life; it would be a constant in my world. That knowledge calmed me, left me less anxious. I felt that I could take my time, hone my craft, and I aspired to have every poem in my book published in magazines before I would send it off, which I did. In fact, if I remember correctly, I was so un-ambitious I originally thought if I could have just one poem accepted at a really good magazine, I would be satisfied. And I was, and am, honestly. The Ohio Review. Wayne Dodd was kind enough to have been receptive to my poems. And, as corny as it sounds, the fact that my poems were in the same magazine that had published James Wright was gold star. The acceptance note literally brought a tear to my eye.

The books now are gravy. Stuff occurred though, none the least of which was one son, then another, then another. I luckily landed well-paying gigs right out of graduate school as a director of academic support programs for athletes—first at The University of Arizona, then UC Berkeley, and, for the past twenty years, at The University of Connecticut. My anti-poetic career. My wife and I balanced our lives quite hectically—working different hours, getting the boys to all their sports’ events, music lessons, their brief and painful stints in Boy Scouts, SAT prep classes, the whole shebang. All the while, though sometimes sporadically, I kept writing and working on poems. To answer your question, in a nutshell, Disloyal Yo-Yo is comprised of poems that transpired over a ten-year period, and a good deal of the subject matter is what my pal Tony called “Domestic Surrealism.” Frankly, I had nothing else to write about as that was my day-to-day. Earlier poems are stashed somewhere. I always read a good deal of poetry and kept up with the new voices, and I came to the point where I said to myself—not egocentric mind you—that a good number of the first books that I was reading seemed no better than my stuff.

Only a couple of years ago did I start really thinking about sending my manuscripts out, so I read up on the contemporary process and thought, Jeez, it’s a lottery now! My best hope, I thought, was poetry-nepotism. I had good connections, but unfortunately my friends are honorable and ethical. I wonder where they went wrong? I was horrified that poets had to pay money for even a chance. It seemed to prey on the weak. What a scam, I thought—we helpless, meek poets were being victimized by The Man. Frankly, I felt a little deflated. I assumed my work would not stand out and my chances were non-existent. Nevertheless, I submitted to a few of the big contests without acceptance, although I think I was like a semi-finalist or finalist in some. I assumed they told many people that they were, just teasing-carrots to entice poets enough to keep them sending in their dough. So I said the hell with it and began concentrating on writing more intensely. The boys got older, driving themselves to games and such, so I started submitting poems, publishing in the magazines, and I eventually applied for a grant and was fortunate enough to get one. So I decided I’d put together a couple of manuscripts and be business-like about it. I took a chunk of the grant money and sent two manuscripts out to about fifteen places. I sort of forgot about them and all of a sudden, within the same week, I think, I got lucky, and both manuscripts were accepted. Voila.

GREEN: It’s great that you can keep poetry in perspective—few seem to do that, at least overtly. I’ve always felt that the writing is what matters, having that level of engagement with your own experience, and that everything else that may or may not come with it is incidental. So let’s talk about the writing process. Most of the poems in the book seem to start with a premise—exact life-time, the deli line of the dead, etc.—and then you let your imagination run with it. You might say the poems themselves are the disloyal yo-yos—once you let them go, we as readers have no idea whether they’ll come back to where they started, of if they’ll fly off to someplace new. Freedom and surprise, not as subjects, but as aesthetics, seem central. Is that what your writing process is like? Do you ever know where you’re going before you start to write, or is it always a surprise?

COHEN: Clever-clever, Tim—I never thought of the poems being disloyal yo-yos, but you are probably right. I like that notion, yes. If I recognize, or even get a whiff of, where the poem is going while I’m writing I stop writing or take a side street, walk backwards, hail a cab, something different. I’m constantly bored with myself, like most people I guess, (maybe that’s why we write poems and have hobbies) so why on earth would anyone wish to write what he already knows? If you know the outcome, why bother. Watching reruns of Law & Order is the exception however. Most of us, it seems, are not all that sharp—language is infinitely smarter, wiser, and funnier, than we. I’ve learned to trust it, see where it takes me. If I’m not writing out of language, I follow a situation that bangs my funny bone; it hurts badly, but I laugh, and likewise, follow those impulses. I’m as surprised by the direction of my poems as the reader must be. I hardly know what I’m doing till its over. I rarely have a clue.

That is applicable to most things in my life. I find the type of art that I enjoy most, whether it’s music, painting, cuisine, poetry, whatever, is surprising, mysterious, familiar but unfamiliar, posing questions, euphonious, shocking to the senses. I like to be simultaneously startled and comforted. I guess I am in a constant state of confusion and bewilderment and I’d rather not know what I think until I see how things string out, then, I want it all to have seemed inevitable. I guess I trust my sub-conscious, my intuition, “Leaping” as Bly suggests. In life I am afraid and often paralyzed, in poems I am fearless because nothing really is at stake at the moment of composition. I can throw poems out on their ears and try again. Nobody is watching me; it’s a secret murder. I am constantly struggling to figure out my poems during composition, to recognize truths and rhetorical patterns as I go along, unravel pleasing musical and intellectual puzzles that reveal themselves to me if I’m patient and quiet. For many years, because of long work-hours and young kids—we played zone—I wrote with one foot against the door which made my poems not fully realized, rushed out of necessity. I have a stack of unfinished poems. Now that I have a little more time, as I said, as soon as I can see around the next corner of a poem I go in a different direction, but not arbitrarily though, just another choice that seems to make sense at the moment. I don’t care how long a poem sits, even if it pesters and nags me.

For poetry, I live on my own time. If the poem wants to get worked on, seduce me, tell me something I don’t already know. Force me to work on you. It’s my job to listen, which I take seriously, but the poem has to meet me half-way. Perhaps that’s why end-rhyme drifted so far out of fashion. The sound of each word restricts, limits, your word choice and ultimately handcuffs your imagination. Then again, if you listen carefully, all words rhyme, so I don’t stress much about music although I love, love, a line with an abundance of accents, muscular lines, and I like imaginary handcuffs, handcuffs that I invent for myself in each poem, and I try like hell not to repeat my patterns, although I suppose we all do. The handcuffs are not kinky; I can still type with them on. I like to let my poems have their own lives; I like my poems to be sixteen-year-old inquisitive kids with a new driver’s license. Not reckless, just a little wild, a little Marlon Brando in his youth, but not stupid. I hope I have given them the proper guidance; I hope I raised them right, but ultimately they have to make it in the world on their own. Emily said something wonderful in a poem about that but I can’t remember what it is right now. Maybe I’ll wake up at 2 a.m., remember, and not write it down, which is one of my best poetic techniques. I don’t like to remember too precisely; I find it restricting. Life is surprising, shouldn’t art be? I am in constant wonder. I was taught to reinvent poetry every time I sat down to write. This is an intimidating concept for many writers; who wants that responsibility? Who is so brilliant to invent an art form? I know it’s impossible, but I find it extremely liberating. I have my own personal rules of course, but they change from poem to poem, and I make an effort to engage in linguistic and imagistic venues that are unfamiliar to me, to fracture my own rules, even within the same poem. I like to find new, cool moves in others’ poems and try to incorporate them into my own (I probably shouldn’t admit this).

When I was a kid, I learned basketball moves from Earl “The Pearl” Monroe. After a game I’d go out to the court and fantasize that I was “The Pearl” and imitate his signature spin move. Once I mastered his moves, I’d throw in my own little wrinkle, and the personal challenge for me would be to make my new move not seem at all like Earl’s. Earl in clever disguise. There are few truly original artists, no? Maybe none. Although everything I just said is truthful, it is also a lie. Does that answer your question Tim?

GREEN: Ha, yes, in about five different ways! So given this, that wild teenager behind the wheel, how do you put a coherent book together? Of all the poems you felt were good enough to be in the book, what percentage fit? How big is the B-side? And once you have that body of work that feels like a book, how do you go about ordering it? I noticed that “Domestic Surrealism II” precedes just plain “Domestic Surrealism.” What’s the reason to that rhyme?

COHEN: Oh, nice catch! I’m really bad at math, counting in particular, and thought nobody would read the book closely enough to notice. Actually, there was a point that I wrote a whole series of Domestic Surrealism poems, most of which I had to junk. The survivors, for whatever reasons, kept their original titles so when it was time to put the manuscript together I was concerned with the poems’ content, not the titles. I thought it interesting, as well, in a small way, to emphasize that the order that poems are written is not necessarily the proper order that they should appear in a book. I like books that have varied styles, which seem to have their own logic. I like the themes of individual poems to sort of play off one another; I like poems to be reactions to previous poems in manuscripts. I like the poems to snowball so that the book feels as though it has more substance and inertia than any of the individual poems. I’m not saying I accomplished this, but that’s, at least, what I was striving for. I like record albums that have no pauses between songs. Ultimately, my favorite poems are poems that seem to be born out of necessity and some form of obsession, poems that seem as though they had to be written, that spill over into something that’s life affirming, life altering, or life-repair, ideas and language that can no longer be contained in its human perception-form.

I also like loads of personality in voice, a normal human being talking to me. The poems in this collection, in my mind, are thematically connected in that way and in voice. Many are of the domestic variety, the day-to-day with raising my family, death of parents, nostalgic memories, swimming in their mildly surrealistic pools. I threw out a lot of poems that seemed to repeat and diminish strategies. I have many stalled poems, poems that run away from home and never call. I write many poems that simply never amount to much, are not pleasing to my aesthetic. So, the B-side takes up the lion’s share of my poetry universe.

As corny as it may sound, the poems that I ultimately selected for Disloyal Yo-Yo were poems that had meaning to me. I didn’t feel that this book could endure the same whimsy as some of my more recent stuff. In some ways, I think of this book as being somewhat flat, speaking directly. Order…that’s a tricky question…I ordered the poems the same way I write: intuitively. But because the book was composed over a number of years I was graced with a variety of styles, within my own limitations of course, and I love books whose poems seem varied but from the same voice. They were poems, I guess, that I wanted to have an attachment to, that were attached to me, and were personal without being exclusionary. As much as I can muster, I think of the book as being sincere, heartfelt.

GREEN: Well I think you succeeded on all those goals—if “imaginative” is the first adjective that comes to mind, then “honest” is certainly the second…the domesticity of “Domestic Surrealism” —there’s a sense that your true psychological home is within these poems. Do you ever feel naked, now that the book is out in the world? It’s one thing to confess to facts about your personal history, but it’s another thing altogether to expose the inner-workings of your own mind. I’m thinking in particular about the first poem in the book, “Sober Trees,” which ends with a revelation about the emptiness that fills half a life. Do you ever worry that family, friends, co-workers in your “anti-poetic career,” will read the book and learn a little too much?

COHEN: Yes, on all accounts. When I was younger I was quite worried that family, friends, drinking buddies, anti-poetry pals, would get to know more than I wanted to share, or think something strange about me. I didn’t know how the polar aspects of my life would fit together. It took time; the components had to come together, like a brash wine. Many of my “athletic” compatriots didn’t even know I wrote poetry until the book came out. Naturally some teased me in a semi-good-natured way. I didn’t want to mix my worlds; outer space DNA doesn’t inbreed well with human blood…many movies attest to that fact.

But now that I’m older, I guess I simply don’t care. I am who I am, comfortable in my cross-breeding alien skin. My real friends accept me for my inconsistencies, contradictions, complexities and flaws. Plus, my wife says my friends from the other world simply scratch their heads ’cause they don’t read poems and won’t spend the time to figure them out anyway…and, they’re probably too embarrassed to admit their ignorance of art or laziness. Some were kind enough to come to my first reading, bought the book and invented a compliment about one or two of the poems. I appreciated that. I guess I’m at the point in my life that I have no qualms about being myself and I hope my new poems benefit from that.

GREEN: I like that metaphor; poetry really is its own planet. Or maybe a little moon falling forever around the regular world. What do you think poetry’s place should be? What’s its purpose? You seem very grounded as a poet, happy to have it as just one aspect of a broader life. Do you feel content with our current cultural cosmology? I guess what I really want to know is, do you think your athletic friends’ disinterest in poetry is equivalent to a poet’s disinterested in, say, football? Is there any difference?

COHEN: I’m probably talking out of both sides of my mouth here, but I think poetry is elite and commonplace; most people don’t read contemporary poetry and certainly most people don’t spend the amount of intense time trying to compose it in a serious way, but if you stopped almost anyone on the street, I bet virtually everyone, at some time or another, has written a poem and certainly has read a poem. I’m a blue collar type of poet, an ordinary, regular American guy, who happens to have read a great deal of literature simply because I like it, in the same way I enjoy a number of things.

Even though I probably could, I find it pretentious and annoying to make esoteric literary allusions in poems, so I don’t. (Yeah, I get it; you’re smart and well read.) I like accessible poems, though some might argue that some of mine are not. I’m not a footnote type of guy and I’m sort of lazy and don’t want to look stuff up. Now which Greek God was that? What was his super power? But my approach to writing is not lazy; it’s blue collar, working man. I write something every day whether I feel like it or not and put my time in. I go to work sick. I’m rarely inspired and I have no patience for waiting for some sort of Muse. In fact, I don’t think I have a Muse, I just try to talk to people in my poems who I know and want to talk to. My father got up at five every morning, went to work and never complained. I try to do that—especially with my poetry. Lunch pail stuff.

Many of the “athletic” people whom I’ve been friends with for many years are not what you might think. Many are extremely thoughtful, well-read, interesting people, open to ideas. And they work hard and laugh off failure. What I learned from them is you recruit 20 players and, if you’re lucky, you get one who is good. They move on. I have no qualms about writing twenty poems to get one decent one. It’s a sort of rain off a duck’s back approach. I’m rarely wedded to any one particular poem. If it doesn’t work out; I write another. People involved in sports still have to fracture the myth that they are only interested in physical prowess and intellectualism is not part of their lives. Athletes, by and large, respect hard work and accomplishment, in any realm. I guess I don’t see them as that different from poets I know and respect…so I guess I would respectfully disagree: I don’t think as a rule of thumb, that poets are disinterested in football or vice versa. Everyone seems different, right? After a billion gene possibilities at this point of Man’s existence, we’re all mutts anyway.

But getting back on track, I do think on some level that poems should be accessible to anyone willing to read carefully. An alien could not come to earth and watch a football game and appreciate all the idiosyncrasies and nuances or even the rules of the game, without instruction. Poetry is similar I think, except, the average person does have the linguistic skill to appreciate a poem with no training, if the poet does a good job. Why do people love Frost so much? Plain talk? There’s something to be said about the simple and direct.

There are moments in my life that something happens and a line from a poem I love pops into my brain and I have a life-insight due to that poem and conversely have a deeper understanding of the poem than I’d ever had. It’s as though I instinctively knew the poem was wonderful and I should remember it, but I didn’t know why or when I’d have to draw on it. Then it happens, and it is. I have no idea what poetry’s purpose is for anyone other than myself. It helps me digest the world so that it goes down easier. It’s comforting in that I know there are others out them like me; it makes me less lonely. It makes me recognize something I didn’t know I knew, or explains something that I sensed but never fully grasped.
And images. I love inventive images and the music of American diction. And surprises and life-insight. I like the way interesting people talk, people who are excited or resigned to something. I get bored easily so I enjoy folks who have lots of interests, lots of passion…I don’t find it inconsistent for someone to love the New York Football Giants and John Ashbery. In fact, those are the people I like best. That’s how my boys were raised and they seem fairly well grounded and normal. You can bring up any topic and they seem comfortable with the conversation; all things are simultaneously important and unimportant. In fact, didn’t the Ancient Greeks, (one son alluded to them as the Ancient Geeks) who were fairly smart guys, have to pass some type of intellectual test before qualifying for the Olympics? I think I remember reading that somewhere.

It’s a Zen thing, too, I think: all things being of equal value, having their place. As much as I love poetry and find it useful in my everyday life, I’m not sure it’s more important to me than the Giants winning the Super bowl and, clearly, I recognize that it’s not important to everyone. Should we be pedaling poetry door-to-door like religious zealots? Passing out pamphlets? Poetry helps me understand what it is I am and sports help me forget, abandon myself temporarily, as do other things: gardening, TV, etc. It’s a sort of ying and yang see-saw. If you think about the show Kung Fu, Grasshopper was quite spiritual, exploring the intricacies of the natural and human dimension, or lack thereof, with Master Po, unraveling the nature of the universe in prime time. But, when confronted with bad guys, who often were one dimensional (clue), and who demonstrated a single obsession, he would kick their ass, in perfect slow motion. Hence, you can be a tough guy and poet. I guess those type of poets are my favorites, except Rilke. I like Rilke but he wouldn’t survive in a street fight, unless Rodin had his back.

So I appreciate you saying I’m grounded. I have tried to keep things in balance, in perspective. I do the best I can at my job, raising my family, working on poems, given my own imperfections and flaws. As I said, my wife and I made some serious sacrifices to make sure the boys got to their games and music lessons, do/did well school—and did my poetry suffer, my production, as a result? Of course, but that’s who I am. And that suffering may have contributed to my development as a poet. Poetry is what I studied in college, what I have always done since I was a kid; it’s been a central passion in my life; it’s been a constant. When things are going badly in life it is a pal and mistress, when things are going well, it patiently waits on the sidelines, holding an umbrella for me, to ward off rain or the excessive sun. It has no demands and infinite demands on me. Although poetry is somewhat different, of course, from song lyrics, most everyone enjoys music, so can’t we say almost everyone loves poetry? One can almost always hear the radio blasting from passing cars in summer when the windows are rolled down. We all sing along in our cars or in front of the mirror in our private teenage rooms. And the molecules of the music evaporate into the air. So maybe poetry is a kind of artistic physics, and our cultural cosmology is that real poetry can neither be created nor destroyed. Wow! How did I get here?

GREEN: Well, that’s what I was trying to get at—I think there’s a tendency to overvalue contemporary poetry, in a way, simply because it’s under-appreciated in our culture. If I had to choose between poetry and recreational sports, I’d probably choose poetry, but it wouldn’t be an easy decision. They’re each important in entirely different ways, and I’d never thought of it in terms of yin/yan before, but that model fits. And strangely, it’s the action of sports that quiets the mind, and the inaction of poetry that disquiets.

Let’s take a little breather—tell us your five favorite poems, if you can. Not your own, but no restrictions, just the first five that come to mind. I see interviewers ask about favorite poets all the time, but I think it’s more interesting to be specific. Gives us something of digestible length to run and look up.

COHEN: Oh God, Tim, that is a wicked hard question…I love so many poems, and my favorite poems are not necessarily written by my favorite poets, but maybe they are… What do my choices say about who I am as a writer? I would say, Lowell, “Memories of West Street” and “Lepke,” two Larkin poems, “Reference Back” and “Talking in Bed,” “Musee De Beaux Art,” Auden of course, “Refusals,” Jon Anderson, and Weldon Kees, one of the Robinson poems, but I can’t remember which one…I’ll have to look it up.

GREEN: Well that’s why I asked it—three of the poems you mentioned I’ve never read. I’m going to run off to Google when we’re done and see if I can find them. There are so many great poems in the world, sometimes the best thing poets can share is simply suggested reading.

Okay, back to you. It seems this is the year you’ve cashed in on your patience—this fall, your second book, Swerve, is coming out from Black Lawrence Press, just six months or so after your first. In an email to me, you described Disloyal Yo-Yo as the “older and more civilized” book. So what does the uncivilized Bruce Cohen look like? How does Swerve swerve? Tell us a little about the book.

COHEN: I would like it documented, in this interview, that yesterday I was at the Mets’ game with two of my sons and we witnessed the first game-ending unassisted triple play since 1927!

I think in Disloyal Yo-Yo, mostly, I’m talking to myself, and if other people eavesdrop, so be it. In Swerve, the pace and voice and music are more frenetic, obsessive. I am talking to others, more publically, mostly. For lack of a better description, I think the poems are a little more zany, out there, anxious, unafraid. Stylistically, I was influenced by those poets who had a more quirky sensibility and a tone, who wrote with heavier accents and more in-your-face alliteration, internal rhymes and bluntness. Quirkier syntax. Not that I’m a very subtle writer, but I think I pushed that envelope a little and the poems are unabashedly brash and speedy. Not seeing, or caring to see, that which is in front of me, going faster than I probably should in poems—not in real life; in real life I’m a wicked slow driver, I swerve when a little girl runs into the road following her soccer ball or a couch falls off the pick-up in front of me after a tire blows out, but I keep going, because, in life, mostly that’s what we do. We close our eyes, hope for the best, and keep going. That’s what we have to do to make any sort of progress in small and large ways. We all know people who are frozen in a particular time due to some horrific catastrophe or life-altering event, and it’s sad. They live forever in that terrible moment. We pity them and secretly, or not so secretly, are glad it is not happening to us. Life gets thrown at you from every direction, meteorites hit the earth, and maybe the people who survive are the ones who dodge the flying objects, who are able to swerve. Those who are light on their toes without heavy suitcases.

And I want to be among them. I never wanted to be a helpless victim in art; I never wanted to be afraid to take risks in poems: I always aspired to say “the hardest thing.” Even though it’s possible, I never wanted my poems to sound like other people’s poems. I believe the poems in Swerve have a little more courage and gusto than Disloyal Yo-Yo, more confidence, a little more of myself. In life, I’m extremely responsible. In my newer poems, not so much. I hope that you never know what I will do or say. So you have to pay attention and hold onto your wallet or you may crash or find yourself alone on a deserted street with no way of getting home, no ID. You can’t even prove who you are, and you might have to start from scratch, re-invent the world, and would that be such a terrible thing? In art, of course not.

GREEN: Or football! Thanks, Bruce, this has been terrific.

from Rattle e.7, Fall 2009

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December 7, 2012

from A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AMIRI BARAKA AND ALAN FOX, IN STUDIO CITY, CALIFORNIA, NOVEMBER 15TH, 2011

[Note: The following is excerpted from a 14-page interview, which appears in full in Rattle #37.]

FOX: Do you think it’s the role of a poet to be an activist, to push for change in society?

BARAKA: Certainly the ones I value. A lot of great poets come from Latin America. Americans don’t even know it.

FOX: Yeah, that’s true.

BARAKA: They probably know more European poets than—a lot of the great poets in the Western hemisphere are Latin Americans. But see, they don’t teach Puerto Rican literature, or Haitian literature, or Venezuelan literature, or Brazilian literature—our whole hemisphere, absolute ignorance. And then the political thing—they wouldn’t let Neruda in the country for years. Ernesto Cardenal in Nicaragua, I heard him—we went to a poetry festival, my wife and I. They have poetry festivals all over Latin America. They have more jazz concerts in Italy than they have in the United States.

FOX: Really?

BARAKA: It’s hard to believe. Little towns that you never heard of have jazz festivals, in Italy, all over Italy. But it’s like you create something and have no use for it, but everybody else does. We got invited to go play in Tunisia right after that revolution. But then they started shooting again and they rescinded the invitation—thank goodness. I’ve been all over the world—haven’t been to China, unfortunately; haven’t been to Russia because of the politics here. I’ve been a lot of places in Africa and all over Latin America, all over Europe.

FOX: What are some of your favorite places that you’ve been to?

BARAKA: Well, Rome. Senegal. Those are two. And in Latin America, Venezuela. We went to a couple of poetry festivals in Columbia in the very city they said was the great dope capital of the world. They’re famous for dope, not poetry, you see. As far as the United States, Medellín—you say Medellín, you’re talking about the great dope capital of the world. But it’s a great poetry center. They have a poetry festival there with two or three hundred poets from all over the world. They have a poetry festival in Venezuela and Nicaragua, in Cuba and Puerto Rico.

FOX: I still wonder, why do they do that so much in Latin America and Europe, and not here?

BARAKA: Because these people are not interested in that, the people that run it. I don’t know, it might be also fear of having that kind of spirit and presence. I don’t know if I can say Americans are not that interested in poetry. In times of turbulence they get more interested in poetry and drama. There’s an Englishman who says that drama is created in the periods of social turbulence, so that the drama is trying to put real people on the stage, real life presented actually as it is. There’s something to that. But here we’re afraid of our great dramatists and great poets. We have no American National Repertory Theater, but go to England, you go to see the Shakespeare; you go to France, you go to see the Comedie Francaise; you go to even Czechoslovakia they got it, but not the United States. Why? Well, I don’t think they want to put a real repertory and have, say, Tennessee Williams, Langston Hughes…to be seen by people all the time.

FOX: It sounds like you’ve enjoyed your life pretty much.

BARAKA: Well, yeah. Except the bad parts. Well, if you can do what you want to do, that’s one important thing. I tell my kids that: “You should be able to do what you want to do.” It might be difficult to do that; there might be a lot of set-backs, but if you’re not willing to go for that, then you have to do something you don’t want to do.

FOX: Absolutely.

BARAKA: If you want to take anything, then you can do that; that’s easy. You can just do anything. But to be able to stay strong and say, “No, I don’t want to do that; I want to do this.”

FOX: That’s a good trick. But, you know, if you’re not true to yourself, you’re probably going to suffer anyway, so you might as well suffer going for what’s important.

BARAKA: You’d be a very grouchy person too.

FOX: [laughs] That’s for sure. Tim or Daveen?

GREEN: You mentioned the good parts and bad parts. Is “Somebody Blew Up America” and being Poet Laureate and all that stuff—is that a good part or a bad part?

BARAKA: Well, it’s like I said, there’s always different things. I mean, that poem…we lived right next to it, in Newark; you could see the Twin Towers. I was supposed to go to New York to do work for Felipe Luciano, a great Puerto Rican poet. They called me up and said, “Turn on the television.” I turn on the television and the building is burning. So I thought it was like, when I was a kid, a plane hit the Empire State Building. There was a hole in the Empire State Building for about two or three months that we used to look at every time we went to New York. Anyway, I was looking at it and here comes the next plane, pow. And so I was frightened, you know, I was scared, because nothing like that had happened in the United States. But after a while, listening to Bush prevaricate, I began to think about what was being said. You know, if you want to talk about terrorism, that’s how we got here. Slave trade, that’s terrorism; the Klan, that’s terrorism; those are terrorists. And so then I began to think about all the people in the world who’ve been subject to terrorism, many of them at the hands of the United States.

So I sent that poem out in October and within a month I got a response and I put it on the net. Then I got to be named the Poet Laureate of New Jersey. Not because of that poem but just because of some serendipity of the government. So when they named me Poet Laureate, I said to the governor, “You must not read poetry. You don’t know anything about my work.” [laughs] So when I read the poem at the Dodge Poetry Festival for about a thousand people, read it twice, people came up, my wife and I signed books for about an hour. The last people who came up there was this man and woman who walked up and said, “That was a hateful poem.” So I wanted to know what part was hateful.

The next day the governor called me and said, “You have to apologize and resign,” because they said it was an anti-Semitic poem. And that really astonished me. It was stupid, I thought, and of course I refused to do it. Interestingly, the governor had to resign a year later because he had a homosexual affair with his Israeli assistant. But then they start harassing me, on the phones and television and everything, about that. I went to the acting governor, because the governor got out of there, and I said, “Look, if you all think this, why don’t you let me go down to the state house and read this poem, put it on the wall, call everybody you think needs to read it and we discuss it. Tell me what you think is negative in it.” Acting Governor Codey says, “We don’t have to do that.” I said, “What do you mean we don’t have to do that?” He says, “We don’t have to do that. We can do anything we want to do.” So we’ve been through three courts including the Supreme Court of the United States. The Supreme Court refused to hear it. The lower courts said I had no personal rights because I was an employee of the state as the Poet Laureate. I didn’t know if you were an employee of the state, that meant you didn’t have any personal rights. So, that’s where it is right now. The Supreme Court refused to hear it. But it depends on the politics of the nation. And it will change, because there’s nothing in there that I don’t believe as fervently as I did when I wrote it. But for a while it was really a frenzy, people calling me up and threatening me on the phone.

FOX: Whoa.

BARAKA: Television, radio, and stuff like that. And it’s persistent; there are still groups of people who believe that somehow I did something anti-Semitic. But it’s simply not true. And the poem itself needs to be read. If you think there’s something wrong with it, publish it. You know, that’s what I think, because it doesn’t make any difference to me. But I hate the fact of being accused of stuff, because 50 years from now there’ll still be people walking around saying that, you know. Until the day you die they’ll be people saying that. All you have to do is be called a name and it lasts forever.

GREEN: To reach that many people, though…I mean, more people read that poem than—

BARAKA: I know, which seemed to me always stupid—I mean, the best thing you did if you didn’t like the poem is say, “Shh.” Why broadcast it all over the world? But that’s what they did. And it’s not the first time I’ve been jacked up about a poem. 1967, a poem called “Black People.” I was arrested during the Newark Rebellion on possession of guns and sentenced to three years and the judge read the poem and said, “Wait a minute, you’re being sentenced to prison on possession of two guns?” And I said, “And a poem.” He said, “This is a prescription for criminal anarchy.”

FOX: About your poem?

BARAKA: The poem. Because the poem predicted the rebellion. So I was living in Newark and I knew, the way things were, people would not take that forever, so because I said it in a poem, then I created it. So I wanted to know, “Judge, you think they came over to my house and read that poem and then ran out and set fire to the town; you really believe that?” But we won that on appeal. But what was I supposed to say: “Okay, I’m sorry I wrote that poem, burn it up”? Anyway, such is the life, the literary life.

from Rattle #37, Summer 2012

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December 3, 2012

INTERVIEW WITH TERESA MEI CHUCTeresa Mei Chuc's Red Thread
ON
RED THREAD

Fithian Press
P.O. Box 2790
McKinleyville, CA 95519
ISBN-13: 978-1-56474-528-6
2012, 80 pp., $14.00
www.danielpublishing.com

The following interview was conducted over email by Rattle editor Megan O’Reilly and Teresa Mei Chuc, author of Red Thread, a collection of poems that recounts her family’s flight from war-torn Vietnam, and her father’s imprisonment by the Vietcong.

Teresa Mei ChucTeresa Mei Chuc was born in Saigon, Vietnam, shortly after the horrendous war that bombed her people and her homeland. She and her family survived, although her parents were separated for a long time. Chuc, her brother, and their mother escaped Vietnam in a ship crowded with hungry, sick, and frightened immigrants. Under political asylum, they settled in California, where eventually they were reunited with her father, who had spent nine years in a Vietcong “re-education” camp.

Chuc writes about war and her personal and family history. Out of her personal history, beyond her cultural heritage, and apart from her family, Chuc finds her own individuality in her poems.

Nominated for a Pushcart Prize for “Truth is Black Rubber,” a section of poems from Red Thread, Teresa Mei Chuc is a graduate of the Masters in Fine Arts in Creative Writing program at Goddard College in Plainfield, Vermont, and teaches literature and writing at a public school. Her poems appear in journals including EarthSpeak Magazine, National Poetry Review, Rattle, and Verse Daily. Chuc is the founder and editor-in-chief of Shabda Press. She lives with her three sons in Southern California.

____________

O’REILLY: You begin the book with an explanation of the title: “According to Chinese legend, an invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break. In addition, the red thread is a protection and blessing cord in Buddhist tradition. It keeps the wearer in the compassionate embrace of the bodhisattvas.” I find this a perfect metaphor for the collection on every level. Even the image of a red thread is so fitting—the color red might symbolize both violence and “blood relations,” family; and the thread the binding between the two. How did you come up with that title, and was it before or after you wrote these poems?

CHUC: The title, Red Thread, came to me after I wrote the poems in the collection. At the time, I was thinking of possible titles for the book. I already had a working title, but I felt that I needed a different title. I was writing a description of the book and included the Chinese legend about the red thread. A friend and mentor of mine who read the description suggested Red Thread as a title. It was serendipitous. Right away, I felt that Red Thread would be perfect for the title of the book—the primordial cord.

It was also the red cord that I wore around my neck with a jade Buddha or Quan Yin, bodhisattva of compassion, pendant. When I was a child, my mother told me that the cord and pendant would protect and bless me; I would be in the compassionate embrace of the  bodhisattvas. Interestingly, we also embody the compassionate nature of the bodhisattvas and provide protection for each other.

In the summer of 2012 at the William Joiner Center in Boston, Massachusetts, I met three visiting North Vietnamese writers who fought on the side of the Vietcong during the war. One of the writers served in the Special Forces, another in the artillery unit, and another was a volunteer reporter for the Mid-central Liberation Army in the South – her father was killed by a B-52 when bombs were dropped by the United States over Hanoi, my father’s birth city. They vividly recounted their experiences during the war, the  calculation, the horror and the suffering, while tears streamed from my eyes. I shared with them my story about our family’s immigration to the United States and my father’s imprisonment in a Vietcong “re-education” camp. We empathized with the pain and tragedy we each suffered on both sides of the war.

Meeting the North Vietnamese writers was a pivotal moment; after a horrendous war and several decades, we, people from the North and from the South of Vietnam, were able to meet and become friends. We had compassion for each other and treated each other with kindness. They desired to know about my experiences and the pain that people like my family experienced after the war when the communists took over the country, and I desired to understand the deep suffering that the Vietcong had to endure during the war. This encounter helped me to open my heart. It meant the world to me that these North Vietnamese writers who fought on the side of the Vietcong felt sorrow about my father’s imprisonment and felt compassion for my family; it was profound. I cherish this human connection which filled my heart with warmth and open spaces.

These North Vietnamese writers are my parent’s age. They could have been my uncles and aunt, and they treated me as if I were part of their family. However, decades ago, we were fighting on different sides of a relentless war. A red thread connected us then and now.  Recently, one of the North Vietnamese writers wrote the following to me, “It is also good that you want to tell the stories of the war prisoners who had been held captive by Viet Cong such as your father. Their stories will have human meaning.” I was very touched by this comment by someone who had fought with the Viet Cong during the war. I know that the people of Vietnam on both sides of the war want to heal, to feel the humanity of us all.

After my father’s release from prison, he said that he hated the color red because it was the color of communism. He associated the color with violence, loss and deep pain. However, the color red was an important color in our Chinese culture and symbolized good luck and happiness. My mother’s wedding dress was red. The positive aspect of the color lost its meaning for my father after the war. Many years later, red posters with Chinese characters of blessings and good luck began to appear on the wall of my parents’ house.  Healing was beginning to take place.

WHEN I FIRST SAW DADDY

he was like an Egyptian cat;
skinny, foraging, and stern,
just released from a Vietcong prison.
He told us he hated the color red.
Sixteen years later,
he wears a red sweatshirt and smiles.
The pin tip opening in his heart enough
to let in a driblet of red.

The title, Red Thread, has deep meaning for my family and for me on many levels, and these meanings flow through the arteries of the collection.

O’REILLY: The poems about your family struck me as deeply honest. I’m not sure if your parents are still living, but even if only internally—as a result of that gut-level loyalty we often feel to our family—did you struggle with how to write about them in this book? Did you question how much you would reveal and how open you would be?

CHUC: I think my first encounter with this question was a few years ago when I wrote a prose piece in a series of vignettes titled Year of the Hare. It was an intimate look into my father’s experience with PTSD and the inner and outer violence that resulted; it was an intensely personal and revealing piece. However, I don’t think I could have written it another way and do it justice. I could not have done my father’s experience or our family’s experience justice if I was not completely honest to the best of my ability in telling the story.

To break the cycle of and perpetuation of violence against oneself and others, one needs forgiveness and compassion. To develop these, it is necessary to gaze unflinchingly into suffering, one’s own and the suffering of others; I think this is one of the most difficult and most important things to do. It is so much easier to look away. As Rainer Maria Rilke says, “Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.” At least in our deep gaze, in forgiveness and compassion, we can begin to heal our own hearts.

I think I have never been so close to my family as I am now. Through the process of writing these poems, I was able to connect with, understand, and appreciate my family in profound ways that I was unable to before. Writing about my grandma, my father, and my mother helped me to understand them and my relationship with them on a much deeper level. Writing about my father’s experiences helped me to appreciate and understand what he went through and the causes of his PTSD. This writing process was a thread that helped to re-connect us. For a while, my parents and I were disconnected as a result of PTSD and fractures within ourselves—some of the many consequences of the displacement and continual violence caused by war.

I think it was important for me to write honestly and openly about my family; they are an important part of the narrative. Our story was not just a narrative of events, but of relationships and people. Sometimes, history is written in a way that magnify events while the people in the events are reduced to a number. Intimacy and humanness were important to me in my writing process. I wanted to show the connection between the micro and the macro, the physical and the spiritual through the people in my poems.

There is a part deep inside of my parents that does not want to forget the war and our family’s experiences. There is a part deep inside of me that does not want to forget. And there is a part deep inside of us that does not want the world to forget. Perhaps, if I can write honestly, something crystalline, transparent can form. Hubert Selby, Jr., also known as Cubby, was a writer I admire. I think it was at one of his readings that I heard him say something like this – “in writing, one of the greatest gifts you can give is your heart, hold it, beating in your hand for the reader.” I try to do this in my writing, give my heart.

My parents don’t read literature in English, so I was very happy when some of my poems were translated into Vietnamese by Ngo Tu Lap  and Da Mau Literary Magazine  (published in Vietnam), and my parents were able to read them. Van Nghe Vinh, a literary journal in Vietnam, recently published my poem, “Names,” in Vietnamese. Having been exiled after the war, it was very meaningful to be held in the arms of my motherland again. Through poetry, my family’s story is re-entering the country. It is profound for me to embrace and be embraced by a language that was forcefully taken away. It is a circle the way a needle makes a suture.

I felt that there were gaps and emptiness in the spaces of the narrative about the American war in Vietnam. I looked into these spaces as I wrote my poems. I grew up watching movies about the Vietnam War; the story would focus on the American soldier’s experiences, so there were pieces missing from the narrative. I remember towards the end of one of the  movies was the fall of Saigon and Vietnamese people fleeing the country, being saved by Americans, but the unfilmed narrative after that continued and still continues, though many people from the era are beginning to pass away.

I recently read When Heaven and Earth Changed Places by Le Ly Hayslip about her life during the war. I could really relate to the book and cried, sobbed, through each page. It was a difficult read because it re-opened many fissures and wounds, but I needed to read the book; I needed to see the war through another perspective, the experience of Le Ly Hayslip, a Vietnamese, a woman and an immigrant. Hayslip, who suffered violence from both sides of the war, emerged with forgiveness and compassion. She wrote with such honesty that the effect was piercing. In 1988, hoping to help heal the wounds of war between the United States and Vietnam, Le Ly Hayslip returned to her village of Ky La in central Vietnam and started East Meets West Foundation. Her work there included helping victims of Agent Orange.

Similarly, Kim Phuc, the little girl in the iconic picture who was running naked during a napalm bombing in Vietnam, is an inspiration to me. Running The Kim Foundation International and acting as a UNESCO Goodwill Ambassador for the Culture of Peace, she transformed her suffering into good. When I think of her, I am reminded of what we can do, how we can transform something so terrible through an open heart. I think, in some way, I try to do this in my writing; at times, this entails revealing what may frighten me most.

NOT WORTH A BULLET

A bullet is made of
copper or lead.
Gunpowder is
poured into the case.
The firing pin hits the
primer at the back of
the bullet which starts
the explosion. Altogether,
the bullet and the case are
typically about two inches in length
and weigh a few ounces.

My father said that
the Vietcongs
told him and the other
prisoners while in
“re-education” camp
that they were not worth a bullet.
They would work for the Vietcongs
and then die.

A bamboo tree is smooth, long
with roots that hold the earth
with the strong grip of O’REILLY
knuckles and fingers.
They are used to build houses,
fences, etc.
A bamboo tree can weigh sixty pounds
or more and be twenty feet tall.

The prisoners were forced to
walk barefoot up the mountains
and carry bamboo back to the camp.

Due to the weight of the bamboo,
they were only able to carry one
at a time.

O’REILLY: How old were you when you immigrated to the United States? Do you have many memories of your life in Vietnam?

CHUC: I was two years old when I arrived in the United States. The memories of my life in Vietnam consist of a few photos and stories my parents, grandma, and brother would tell me. Since I was born in Saigon shortly after the fall of Saigon, it was a difficult time for my family. My father reported to “re-education” while my mother was still pregnant with me, my mother gave birth to me and took care of my brother and me on her own. There were very few pictures of my time there. Taking pictures was not a luxury we had then. There was a picture of my brother and I; I must have been about a year and a half and my brother about four years old. We looked so poor and sad and we both had a worried look on our faces. I didn’t smile in the pictures of me in Vietnam. There was a photo of my mother, brother and I that I found in an album; she was holding us in her arms and there was a deep sadness in our eyes. My mother showed me a photo of me on the boat. I was two years old, sitting on the floor with many people, and crying; I looked so sick in the picture. This was when my mother told me the story that inspired the poem, “Immigration.”

IMMIGRATION

It is October, when the winds of autumn blow strong in
the Pacific.

There are over two thousand of us, sardines,
barely human and starving. We sleep on the floor and
wash ourselves with seawater. People are sick.

When someone dies from sickness, s/he is wrapped
in a blanket and tossed overboard during a Buddhist
chant.

I was only two years old and cannot recollect the dying
next to me, nor can I recollect my constant coughing nor
can I recall seeing my mother’s worried countenance as she
contemplated our future, how my constant crying made
her want to jump overboard.

Sometimes, my parents would talk about their experiences over dinner. Over the course of many years, I heard stories here and there. At times, I would ask direct questions. On a few occasions, I asked my father about his experience in “re-education” camp. It was difficult for me to ask about the experiences, because I knew how sensitive it was and sometimes I didn’t know what information or stories would come up and sometimes I would not be ready for it. It was hard for me to hear about the suffering, especially my mother and father’s suffering.

Once, we were talking and my mother started telling us about my aunt’s boat that was attacked by pirates and how the women on board were raped. She told us that my aunt was about eight months pregnant at the time and lost her child because she had to sit next to the boat’s hot engine. Many boat people faced similar fates. In addition, they had to purposely “sink” their boats, so that countries such as Malaysia and Singapore would rescue them and allow them to enter. It was a very dangerous thing to do and many people, including children, drowned as a result.

Usually, the stories started off as casual conversations on various topics that would somehow lead to a story about the war and our immigration. Typically, these conversations occurred over dinner, so the kitchen was a place where many stories were shared and where we learned about our history.

O’REILLY: Thinking about poems like “Playground” (which ends with some of my favorite lines in the collection: “a room full of people without furniture,/drowning in a sea of sand, sand they had believed held water”) that contain so much suffering and sorrow they seem about to shatter the page, I’m interested in what the process of writing poems on such a personal and painful subject—the violence and oppression of not just a war, but one your own past is rooted in—entails in terms of process and technique. Are there ways in which you prepare yourself to write poems like these? Do you engage emotionally with the content, or do you need to detach yourself to some extent?

CHUC: Thank you. I remember growing up as a child wondering where my father was, having to deal with questions of war that was really beyond my comprehension, but having to ask such questions at a young age. I was very sensitive as a small child. I remember other kids referring to me as “fresh off the boat” in a kind of derogatory way and I remember feeling different and not wanting to be different. Like every kid, I wanted a normal childhood.

When my father was released from a Vietcong “re-education” camp, I was nine years old and saw him for the first time. Then, my life changed forever in a way that I did not anticipate. The post-traumatic stress disorder that plagued my father’s psyche and heart translated into daily life and so my childhood was a matter of survival which included some of the most severe examples—a knife being thrown at me and being chased with an axe. My life was inundated with threats of punishment and violence. So, these instances were a matter of my father’s PTSD, but I didn’t understand this until I was older. At the time, I just had to deal with it and it was painful. I remember crying nearly every day of my childhood. This was too much to deal with as a child and I didn’t want any of it; I wanted to have a peaceful life, but this trauma would continue to haunt me into adulthood until I knew that in order for me to survive and have peace within myself, I had to face this war and explore it into the deepest, darkest corners. I deeply wanted to forgive my father, the Vietcong, and the United States, and in order to do this, I knew that I had to face my profoundest fears and pains.

Normally, when a part of our body, such as our heart or stomach, is hurting, our natural response is to stop doing what we’re doing that is causing the pain. The hurt is our body’s way of telling us to stop. So, as I explored my family history and the American war in Vietnam, I had to do what was not natural—I had to look into a subject matter that caused me a lot of physical, emotional, and mental pain. At times, as I was writing these poems, I could feel my heart ache, my heart palpitate, and I just had a feeling of overwhelming emotional and physical discomfort. At times, I was filled with a deep sadness.

I had to prepare my mind to visualize what it was like during the war for my family. I had to allow my mind to visualize my father’s experience in “re-education” camp and the torment and abuse he had to endure; I had to feel his sorrow and suffering. I had to visualize my mother’s grief in being separated from her adoptive parents and my father. In this deep, dark, hurtful place, staring straight at it, luckily, I was able to find some love, beauty, and compassion and these filled my heart as I wrote as well. This process was especially difficult because it brought back the childhood trauma of not having a father, and then the subsequent years of living with a father who suffered from severe PTSD. However, after the initial amalgam of emotions while writing the poem, going back to revise, I allowed myself some emotional detachment and focused more on the music of the language and the structure of the piece in order to let it fully form.

I had to write this narrative, because I had to separate it from my physical body, where I stored the pain, anxiety and memory in my muscles and cells and it was eating me up from the inside. My body held onto the stories because it didn’t want to forget. Writing it down, I didn’t have to forget and I didn’t have to remember. Writing my family’s story and writing about the war was, for me, a basic need in order to survive, and my medium of energy output, output of emotions and thoughts is through poetry, so this was the best way for me to communicate. As Grace Paley says, “write what will stop your breath if you don’t write.”

The unrestrained nature of poetry allowed my emotions and thoughts their freedom to be expressed in a way that they needed to be, but it was also a lot of work to hone this massive amount of energy so that it can be contained in a small poem. I felt an almost urgent need to document my family’s experiences for them and for my children. I forget who said this, it goes something like this—”we are minor characters in a bigger story,” and I felt that growing up—I felt that there was this big story about war and humanity and my family was part of it, not by choice but by chance.

I contemplated the subject matter of war since childhood and started to work on the poems about ten years ago. Only in the past two years, I was emotionally ready to read about the American war in Vietnam, to expand my writing about it, and to dig deep into my own family’s experiences. Literally, a few years ago, I could not open a book about the war, my body just froze up with anxiety and I had to physically distance myself from the actual book.

COCKROACHES

A proposal by someone to my mom
after the Vietnam war: Why don’t
you sell your baby, you don’t have
anything to eat?

A response by my four-year-old brother:
No, don’t sell my sister! There are lots
of cockroaches for us to eat!

When I returned to the country
eighteen years later, I saw them—
large, brown shiny tanks on the wall,

evidence of my brother’s love for me.

__________

VIETNAM GHOST STORIES

Ghost-like beings roam,
carrying the bones of the dead,
their steps heavy with the weight
of fields and fields.
And the dead too—
stories Mother tells
of the ghost with a long tongue
that licks dishes at night.

__________

AGENT ORANGE

It’s difficult to be alone, without
a mother’s touch, in a crib like a
baby except one is not.

A son taught to live with a thirst
for a mother who loves her child though
one of his legs is too short, the other too long.

He sits, arms bent and limp, but do not
avoid him; he wants to interact. His swollen eyes
and misshapen head leans back. In a dream
Mother holds him close, as if by her embrace alone,
she will somehow right the wrong.

The chemical traveled through her placenta,
to the womb where small limbs that needed
to form couldn’t, where the tiny body,
the size of a fist, no longer knew what to do.

It was named for the orange band
around each fifty-five gallon drum.

Orange as a sunrise that permeates one’s soul,
how its rays cover the sky
and the earth with a deep orange,

rising as those bodies also rise.

I also wrote about other wars. The poem, “Playground,” was inspired by a clip in a heartbreaking documentary that I saw about ten years ago, “Gaza Strip” by James Longley. It haunted me throughout the years—the images of the ball, the boys and the explosion were striking and stark. The poem was in gestation for about a decade and was finally birthed last year. When I wrote the poem, I remember crying a lot. I am very emotionally connected to my poems and the subject matters. Sometimes, when I read the poem, I still cry.

O’REILLY: Are you currently working on any writing projects you can tell us about?

CHUC: Currently, I am working on a multi-genre book of prose and poetry about the American war in Vietnam titled Year of the Hare. The book includes interviews with Vietnamese boat people and former prisoners of war. I’m interested to see how the genres will work with each other and what kind of synergy they will create. The prose piece in a series of vignettes from the book, also titled “Year of the Hare,” goes deep into my father’s struggle with PTSD and the inner and outer violence that resulted. The piece was previously published in Issue 4 of Memoir Journal a few years ago and will be republished online by Big Bridge in 2013.

The prose piece, “Year of the Hare,” begins like this:

A FETUS

It was 1975, the Year of the Hare, in Saigon, Vietnam. I was a fetus the size of a half-dollar in Mama’s womb, gulping down amniotic fluid, stretching my limbs out into liquid-filled spaces as my heart beat its first beats. An umbilical cord attached to my belly wound its way to Mama’s placenta, where the food she ate entered my body the way air enters a diver’s body through a gas tank.

A few months later, I plumped out and she began to tilt forward with my weight as I turned and kicked the inside wall of her belly. She stroked the perimeter of her globe to feel my foot. The war was ending, the U.S. was retreating, and another war was beginning. Mama breathed in yellow as the sun made her dress stick to her skin and she tried not to notice the communist soldiers patrolling the streets. Military helicopters twirled in the sky.

Thank you, Megan, for the wonderful, thoughtful questions.

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November 7, 2012

INTERVIEW WITH JOHN GUZLOWSKIJohn Guzlowski's LIGHTNING AND ASHES
ON LIGHTNING AND ASHES

Steel Toe Books
Department of English
Western Kentucky University
1906 College Heights Blvd. #11086
Bowling O’REILLY, KY 42101-1086
ISBN-13: 978-0974326450
2007, 96 pp., $12.00
www.steeltoebooks.com

The following interview was conducted over email by Rattle editor Megan O’Reilly and John Guzlowski, author of Lightning and Ashes, a collection of poems that bear witness to his parents’ experiences as slave laborers in Nazi Germany.

John GuzlowskiBorn in a refugee camp after World War II, John Guzlowski came with his family to the United States as a Displaced Person in 1951. His parents had been slave laborers in Nazi Germany. Growing up in the immigrant and refugee neighborhoods around Humboldt Park in Chicago, he met hardware store clerks with Auschwitz tattoos on their wrists, Polish cavalry officers who still mourned for their dead comrades and women who had walked from Siberia to Iran to escape the Russians. His poetry, fiction, and essays try to remember them and their voices.

His poems also remember his parents, who survived their slave labor experiences in Nazi Germany. A number of these poems appear in his books Language of Mules, Lightning and Ashes (Steel Toe Books), and Third Winter of War: Buchenwal (Finishing Line Press).

Winner of the Illinois Arts Award for Poetry, short-listed for the Bakeless Award, and nominated for four Pushcart Prizes, John Guzlowski is a Professor Emeritus at Eastern Illinois University, and currently lives in Danville, Virginia.

____________

O’REILLY: In the epilogue, you write that you began thinking about your parents’ history when you were in graduate school. How old were you when you wrote the first of the poems in Lightning and Ashes? Were you able to speak with your parents about their stories as you wrote the book, or did you write about their experiences mostly from memory?

GUZLOWSKI: I didn’t start writing about my parents until I was 31 years old. Before that, I didn’t want to have any contact with them and their lives and what my mother used to call “that camp shit.” I grew up in a neighborhood in Chicago full of survivors and refugees, and as a kid growing up I felt hobbled by all that sorrow and all that difference, all that apartness. We were called DPs and that stood officially for Displaced Persons (people allowed into the US under the Displaced Persons Act of 1947), but in the streets we were told repeatedly that DP stood for “dirty pigs” and “dirty Polacks.” I didn’t want to be a DP, a displaced person; I just wanted to be an anonymous American kid, a placed person.

School helped me get away from all of that DP world. In college and grad school, I turned to books and literature, a world where there were no survivors, no refugees. During all those college years, I seldom thought about the lives my parents had lived during the war. At least not until the very end of my college career.

I was a year short of finishing my dissertation on postmodern fiction when I wrote my first poem about my parents. I guess you could say that I had to be “placed” before I allowed myself to be “displaced.” I had to overcome their world, before I could enter it.

But even then, it was a slow process. It took me another 25 years to write the poems that became my book Lightning and Ashes.

O’REILLY: And where did those poems come from?

GUZLOWSKI: The first poem I wrote about my parents was “Dreams of Warsaw, September 1939,” and it gives a sense of where the poems come from. Here’s the second stanza:

Somewhere my parents
are still survivors
living unhurried lives
of unhurried memories:
the unclean sweep of a bayonet
through a young girl’s breast,
a body drooping over a rail fence,
the charred lips of the captain of lancers
whispering and steaming
“Where are the horses
where are the horses?”

O’REILLY: There are many mediums through which one might document the experiences in this book. Why did you choose poetry?

GUZLOWSKI: I hate to sound pretentious, but I think poetry chose me. There wasn’t a lot of choosing going around when I wrote that first poem about my parents. It just sort of happened. I was sitting at a desk working on an essay I was writing for a class, and the next thing I know I’ve written a poem. And then a year later, it happened again, and there’s a second poem, and then again, and there’s a third poem, and twenty years later I have twenty poems, and my mom sees Language and Mules, the chapbook I wrote about her and my dad, and she starts talking about her experiences and I start taking notes and seven years later I’ve written Lightning and Ashes.

Looking back on it, I can honestly say I’m happy poetry chose me to tell the story of my parents in a series of poems. The poems allowed me the possibility of conveying some of that sense of fragmentation that you get in trying to capture and convey memories. Take for instance the poems in Part III of Lightning and Ashes, “What the War Was Like.” There are two poems about the Nazis coming into a village and killing people, then a poem about neighbors who collaborated with the Nazis, then a poem about my mom being taken by boxcar to Germany, then a poem about my dad being taken to Germany, then my mom’s grief, then my dad’s hunger, then the castration of one of his friends, then my mom looking at herself and realizing that she’s worthless–and all of that flashes across the page quickly and terribly like lightning, one flash after another after another. No explanations, no summaries, just one terrible thing after another.

Maybe that’s the way it felt to me when my dad first started telling me these stories when I was a kid. I know that’s the way it felt when my mom picked up his stories 50 years later and gave me her version of the stories. One terrible thing after another, one flash of lightning after another.

I remember one of the last conversations she and I had about the war. She was 83 years old and dying of all the things she was dying from, and we were sitting in her living room in the evening and she was telling me about the war. This time, she was telling me about what it was like just before liberation. She was telling me what the German soldiers were doing to the girls in the camps. One terrible thing after another. And I looked up and saw that she was about to tell me something so terrible that it would just about be the worst thing I’ve ever heard, the last flash and stroke of lightning, and I said, “Mom, I don’t want to hear it.” And she said, “I’m going to tell you. You want to know what it was like, and I’m going to tell you.” And I said, “Please don’t tell me.” And she said, “I’m going to tell you,” and I said, “If you do, I’ll leave and not come back. I’ll stand up and leave and you won’t see me again.” And she said, “Okay, you’re 58 years old and still a baby, so I won’t tell you.”

O’REILLY: The line “hope is the cancer no drug can cure” from “My Father Dying” struck me, because it so contradicts the way most of us define hope—as a sort of karmic wish that will aid in bringing us what we want, rather than the role it serves in the book as a foolish and fruitless burden. It interests me that our society, while overtly acknowledging the horrors of the Holocaust, seems to take a sugarcoated view of it: our films about it often temper the overwhelming suffering with “the strength of the human spirit”; we tend to toss around words like “hope” and “courage” when we talk about it. Your book, however, is unflinchingly raw and honest, refusing to do the cheap work of shining artificial light on darkness. Do you agree that the American view of the experience of the Holocaust is overly redemptive? Was it a conscious decision to write about such horrific events in an unapologetic way?

GUZLOWSKI: I was brought up on those redemptive books and movies about the Holocaust and the world of survivors that was depicted in films like Exodus, Diary of Anne Frank, Life is Beautiful, and Schindler’s List. I remember watching Schindler’s List with my mother and asking her at the end of the movie what she thought. She looked at me as if I were an idiot and said, “They can’t make movies about what really happened.”

I’m sure hope and courage were important in the camps, but probably what was most important was luck. I asked both of my parents how they were able to survive the war, and they both said they didn’t know. My father didn’t know why he didn’t die when so many of his friends did. He once told a story about being hauled out of his barracks with hundreds of other prisoners for a roll call. It was a January night, snowing and below zero, and the men were in rags. The guards started doing a roll call, and as they read the names men began to drop from the cold, falling to their knees. A man here and another there and then more. When the guards finished the roll, there were dozens of dead prisoners in front of the barracks. But they didn’t let the men go back in the barracks. Instead, the guards started the roll again, and more men collapsed. That roll call went on for six hours. At the end, garbage trucks came to pick up the dead. My father didn’t know what kept him alive.

What I’m trying to do in the poems is stay true to my parents’ experiences. My mother was especially unsentimental about what happened to her. As a girl, she had seen her family killed, and then she went on to suffer for two and a half years as a slave laborer in Nazi Germany. After the war, she lived for six years in refugee camps, camps where they had mass graves for the babies that were born to the women following the war, women whose bodies weren’t strong enough to carry their pregnancies to fruition. I think it’s hard to believe in hope and courage when you have that kind of experience.

I hope you don’t mind but here’s a poem I wrote about my sense of what my mom believed:

WHAT THE WAR TAUGHT HER

My mother learned that sex is bad,
Men are worthless, it is always cold
And there is never enough to eat.

She learned that if you are stupid
With your hands you will not survive
The winter even if you survive the fall.

She learned that only the young survive
The camps. The old are left in piles
Like worthless paper, and babies
Are scarce like chickens and bread.

She learned that the world is a broken place
Where no birds sing, and even angels
Cannot bear the sorrows God gives them.

She learned that you don’t pray
Your enemies will not torment you.
You only pray that they will not kill you.

Of course, not everyone had the experiences my mom had. Some, I’m sure, survived through hope and courage. I’ve met and spoken to a lot of survivors over the years. What it’s taught me is that different people looked at what happened differently and tried to make sense of it differently.

O’REILLY: You mention that you were not especially interested in your parents’ lives as a child. Why did that change when you became a young adult? Did something trigger that interest or did it just naturally come with the maturity and distance that growing up bring?

GUZLOWSKI: As I mentioned in answering that first question, I needed to get some distance from my parents and their experiences. I described it earlier as being “hobbled.” There was all of that sorrow that my parents carried around. I started running away from that as soon as I could, and for much of my life I continued to run. As I started moving into my early teens, I didn’t want anything to do with my parents and their past. I thought of it as all of that “Polack” or immigrant past. It was sad/terrible and also so old world, so old-fashioned. I had parents who couldn’t speak English, couldn’t talk about baseball or movies, didn’t know anything about Elvis Presley or Marilyn Monroe or James Dean, couldn’t spend a night without fighting with each other in Polish, the language of misery, poverty, and alienation. I wanted to spend as little time as possible thinking about my parents and what my mother sometimes called “that camp shit.”

I think aging had something to do with the change in my attitudes. I started feeling something like “homesickness” for my own past and my parents’ past. I had been away from my parents’ home for almost ten years when I wrote that first poem about them, “Dreams of Warsaw.” Writing it brought them close to me. And for all the years I worked on the poems that went into Lightning and Ashes that was one of the feelings that I always felt writing about my parents. That sense of closeness—writing the poems and talking to my parents about them. And now that they are both gone, I love reading the poems in front of a group because the poems bring my parents back to me, their voices, if only for a moment.

O’REILLY: You do justice to the power of the content of these poems by keeping the language simple, unembellished—where it would be tempting to be verbose and dramatic, the writing is conservative and unaffected. The narrative appears to speak for itself, which is a feat that requires great skill and discipline as a poet. How is the experience of writing poems that tell a true story, particularly when that story is largely comprised of other people’s histories? It seems to me almost comparable to translation, in that it must require certain creative limitations and a willingness to keep one’s own identity out of the focus.

GUZLOWSKI: Thank you.

The voice of the poems came pretty naturally. In talking about my parents’ lives, I’ve tried to use the language that I first heard their stories in, language free of emotions. When my mother and father told me many of the stories that became my poems, they spoke in plain language, straightforward language. They didn’t try to emphasize the emotional aspect of their experience; rather, they told their stories in a matter of fact way. This happened, they’d say, and then this happened: “The soldier kicked her, and then he shot her, and then he moved on to the next room.” I’ve also tried to make the poems story like, strong in narrative drive to convey the way they were first told to me.

Another thing about the voice of the poems that’s important to me is that I’ve tried to incorporate my parents’ actual voices into the poems. A number of the poems contain some of the language they told those stories in. The first poem in the Lightning and Ashes collection, “My Mother Reads My Poem ‘Cattle Train to Magdeburg,’” is pretty much written as she spoke it. I’ve cut out some of the things she said, polished others in that poem, but the poem has her voice.

The poem “My Mother’s Optimism” is another example of using my parents’ voices. The story of my mother’s cancers and her recovery that the poem includes is given a sense of reality, for me, because I included in the poem things my mom actually said. Here’s the end of the first stanza for example:

“Listen, Doctor, I don’t have to tell you
Your job. If it’s cancer it’s cancer.
If you got to cut it out, you got to.”

When my sister Donna read the collection, the first thing she commented on was how much she could hear our parents in it. To me, that was the greatest compliment she could pay. I wanted the poems to be about my parents, not about me talking about my parents.

I once gave a poetry reading, and during the Q & A afterward, a student asked me why I didn’t write about myself. It seemed like an odd question to me because the poems weren’t about me, didn’t pretend to be about me and my story.

O’REILLY: Are you working on any writing projects right now that you can tell us about?

GUZLOWSKI: I’m still writing poems about my parents, but I’m a slow poet. There’s a poem or two a year. Three of them appeared in War, Literature and the Arts, a journal produced at the Air Force Academy. You can read them at the journal’s website. Here’s the link.  Probably, there will be more poems too. I took notes of the conversations I had with my mom toward the end of her life, and sometimes I open those notebooks and find an image or a line of dialogue that wants to become a poem. I’m just finishing up a poem about how my mom and dad met at the end of the war.

I’m also working on two novels. One of them is called Suitcase Charlie, and it’s a crime procedural about a serial killer working in the survivor and immigrant neighborhood in Chicago that I grew up in. The other is called This Rough Magic, and it’s a fictional portrait of one of the Nazi soldiers who killed my grandmother, my aunt, and my aunt’s baby. The novel picks him up at the end of the war when he’s retreating from Russia and finally coming to feel guilt for the terrible things he’s done. I finished this novel two years ago and am happy to say that I finally found a publisher interested in it. Cervena Barva Press will have it out in 2015.

I wish my mother and father were still around to tell me what I got wrong in the novel.

____________

For more information:

John Guzlowski blogs about his parents’ experiences as Polish slave laborers and DPs at http://lightning-and-ashes.blogspot.com/. Lightning and Ashes and Third Winter of War are available for purchase on Amazon.com. A video of his reading at St. Francis College in Brooklyn is available at youtube.com.

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October 21, 2012

from A CONVERSATION BETWEEN ALAN SHAPIRO AND ALAN FOX IN CHAPEL HILL, NORTH CAROLINA, FEBRUARY 20, 2005

Note: The following is an excerpt from a 19-page interview,
available in-full in Rattle #23.

FOX: You mentioned the relationship between art and poetry and music. Can you say more about that?

SHAPIRO: I think that, as Walter Pater says, all poetry does aspire to the condition of music. Music, pure feeling, pure crystallizing structure, that’s what we all want. But words of course have meaning and refer to a world beyond words, and what I mean by music is just that unforgettable something I was talking about earlier. I want to write poems like the ones I love to read: the ones that make you want to memorize them. I don’t think there’s a lovelier expression or metaphor than to learn something “by heart”—to have some poem lodged in the heart so deeply it’s part and parcel of your body and your spirit. It’s finally an utterly sensual experience. To know something “by heart” is to know it in the most intimate way, in the mouth, on the tongue, in the ear.

FOX: Mm-hm.

SHAPIRO: Maybe music is a poet’s metaphor for rhythm. I’ve become truly interested in the music of sentences. I love sentences and the way the shape of sentence can express the shape of a thought or the shape of a feeling. We think about poetry as being primarily image and metaphor or rhythm. We almost never think of poetry in terms of sentences. We think of sentences as belonging to prose. But, for me, a sentence has always been a musical device, a profoundly expressive instrument. Sentences are like little novels, little novels made of grammar. In all good poems the shape of the sentence bears some relationship to whatever the sentence is saying. In the Old Testament, God’s authority is partly a function of his grammar. The Ten Commandments, the reason that’s compelling is because they’re, well, commandments, imperatives–thou shalt not, thou shalt not, thou shalt not. If God were, say, a Unitarian, he might have written the Ten Suggestions. And it would have gone something like: Well, thou might consider not killing; on the other hand I could imagine circumstances in which it’s impossible not to kill, but on balance, it’s probably better not to kill than to kill, but what do I know, I’m only… (Fox laughs.) You know, the lack of moral certitude is reflected in a, in a highly qualified syntax that’s stopping and reversing itself, qualifying itself then qualifying the qualification. And so, the shape of the sentence is the shape of a consciousness in action.

FOX: Mm-hm, mm-hm.

SHAPIRO: And that’s what I read for. You know Robert Hayden’s poem, “Those Winter Sundays?” Beautiful opening sentence in that poem: “Sundays too my father got up early and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold, and then with cracked hands that ached from weekday labor in the weather made banked fires blaze.” Now, that sentence goes on for four-and-a-half lines. And, he could have shaped it so that he told us what the hands were doing before he described the hands. “Sundays too my father got up early and made banked fires blaze with cracked hands that ached from labor in the weekday weather.”

FOX: Mm-hm.

SHAPIRO: But he didn’t. He, he tells us that even on Sunday when he didn’t have to, that beautiful “too,” the father would get up early. And then, with these hands that have worked all week long and are cracked he makes a fire for his family so they shouldn’t have to wake up in a cold house…it’s only at the very end of the sentence that he tells us what the hands are doing. So, by the time we get to what the hands are doing we realize the amount of sacrifice they’ve had to make, we appreciate more keenly the father’s dedication to the well being of his family. And no sooner do we register that insight (partly) from the structure of that sentence, that we get the next short sentence telling us, “No one ever thanked him.” The power of that sentence is a function of the long sentence that precedes it.

FOX: Mm-hm, mm-hm.

SHAPIRO: It’s just so beautifully done. The images in this poem aren’t particularly striking. The verbs aren’t especially active, but the lines are powerful and memorable mostly because of the syntax and how it varies and how it’s drawn through the lines. The artistry resides in the shifting from a long, compound sentence to a short, simple, declarative one. So that’s something that I have been interested in for years, the music of sentences and different kinds of sentences, the short sentence, long sentence, simple sentence, compounds and complex, complex compound, periodic sentences. And the different kinds of expressive work that those different sentences can do—I mean, think of Whitman’s catalogs? Beautiful, long catalogs, in which every detail is grammatically equal to every other detail. He’s the democratic bard of the open road, right?

FOX: Yeah.

SHAPIRO: And so he’s trying to project an aesthetic, he’s trying create an aesthetic that projects an image of human equality, a catalog. No grammatical subordination. And yet every single line is rhythmically distinct from every other line. So you have a beautiful enactment of respect for individuality and a commitment to equality at the same time.

from Rattle #23, Summer 2005

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September 9, 2012


from A CONVERSATION BETWEEN M.L. LIEBLER AND ALAN FOX, IN STUDIO CITY, CALIFORNIA, JUNE 25TH, 2011

[Note: The following is excerpted from a 25-page interview, which appears in full in Rattle #36.]

FOX: So, why did you go to poetry?

LIEBLER: Well, I went to poetry not accidentally but not knowing. My story is different probably than many of the people you’ve talked to. Here’s what I remember. When I was seven I would scribble things down in my school books, on the big lined paper. And I don’t want to give the impression that I was a child prodigy and this was genius stuff. I had no idea. I come from a working class family, and education in a working class family is respected and it’s a good thing, but it’s not the top priority. The top priority for old school working class is that you grow up and get a job and provide for your family. So that’s kind of the aesthetic I was raised in, and it doesn’t necessarily put a lot of emphasis on academic or intellectual stuff. For example, in our house my grandmother—I was raised by my grandparents—my grandmother and grandfather never read poetry. I didn’t ever think to even ask them that, but they probably couldn’t tell you a poet, not even Whitman. However, my grandmother—who was actually, in hindsight, pretty young for a grandmother, meaning she was like 41—really liked Elvis Presley. So I was listening to Elvis Presley at the age of four on a regular basis. And she bought me Elvis’s Gold Hits record and I played it and played it, and Grandma loved it. We’d go to the movies and see the Elvis movies. So that kind of culture was big—other than “The Wonderful World of Disney” on Sunday nights, too, and of course Ed Sullivan. When I’m in the second grade, I start scribbling stuff. It’s—you guys know, being poets and writers—it’s in there; you can’t do anything about it. But I had no idea, and I would get in trouble for it. They would call my grandmother and say, “He scribbles, and we don’t know what it is, but he’s scribbling again, so you pay for the book.”

FOX: [laughs] So you were scribbling in the books.

LIEBLER: In books, and on anything. But having no clue—I know this sounds bizarre, but it’s the truth. When I got to the fifth grade I was doing this all the time, scribbling on paper and notebooks and so on. I remember having a big textbook, an English textbook that had a pelican on a post in the ocean, and when I opened that book I noticed that it had things in it that had a lot of white space around them. When I saw that, I thought, “That’s kind of what I’m scribbling. What I’m scribbling in a sense is, it has a lot of white space around it.” So at that point, that’s when I was first able to say, “Oh, it’s a poem.” Maybe I saw “The Raven” by Edgar Allen Poe in that book, and I thought, “Well, that must be what I’m doing, so it’s a poem. Now, what’s that? I don’t know what that is.” I didn’t read poems. In fact, you guys probably say “poh-um”; in Detroit we say “pomes.” [Fox laughs] Maybe you already noticed that. So, at that point I knew that’s what I was doing, so at least I had a reference, and I kept doing that. And remember, too, this was the beginning of the shift in our culture, because Kennedy’s assassinated. And I’m already a music devotee, but early Elvis was really exciting to me. Then when they kind of wanted to soften Elvis’s image, that’s when the Bobby Rydells and the Fabians came out. That was kind of boring to me. I did like Dion’s “Ruby Baby.” But most of it, “Hey Paula” and stuff like that—that was goofy. I have a story about this I wrote later, but I was really wanting something different, and right at that moment, here come the Beatles. So that was really an eye-opener too. Now Grandma wasn’t necessarily a Beatles devotee initially; She didn’t care one way or the other, but this opened my eyes to a lot of things. When we watched them on the Ed Sullivan show, which everybody here but Tim—and probably you didn’t; did you see them?

DAVEEN: Of course.

LIEBLER: Okay, I thought you were too young.

FOX: She looks younger than she is.

DAVEEN: Five years older than you, I believe.

LIEBLER: Really?

DAVEEN: From what I just figured out.

LIEBLER: Okay. So, when I saw them—this is true, again; now it all sounds like a fairytale I guess—I saw them on the black and white television screen, and remember when they first came on, people didn’t know who was who. What everybody did remember was there was a guy named Ringo, because that was so unusual. In fact, I tell my students—because I teach the Beatles now—I tell my students that back in those early days Ringo was the most popular Beatle, and they’re kind of like, “Really?!” And it was probably because he looked a little different and his name was Ringo. And when I saw the guy on the right side of the screen, I looked at him and I was really digging it, and I said, “I don’t know who that guy is, but whoever he is, I want some of that. I want to understand that.” And it turned out, it was John Lennon.

FOX: Whoa.

LIEBLER: And then they said “John Lennon” and remember “Sorry girls, he’s married” and that little thing on the Ed Sullivan show. Somehow he just stuck out to me even in those initial few minutes of seeing them, because that was the first time we saw them, actually. So, at any rate, now I know I’m doing poetry; I’m into the Beatles heavy; I’m into the whole British invasion thing; and the two things are running parallel for me. So now I’m getting my education essentially from the Beatles. As they move through different phases and they mention and reference different things in their songs and their songs become more sophisticated I’m kind of studying that. I’m not really a bookworm kind of guy, but I was studying that stuff. As time went on, they would even, later, mention Chairman Mao—I’m at the library: “What’s that?” They would mention communism or something: “What’s that?” “Back in the USSR”: “What’s the USSR, what’s that?” So I was really kind of growing intellectually along with that, and knowing I was writing poetry. So by the time I get into junior high school I know that’s what I’m doing, and again, it’s not good, but I’m reflecting in some kind of primitive poetry. And I saved everything—I’ve never looked at it; I put it in boxes and duct taped it, and I don’t want to see it, especially now. But I saved everything, never threw anything out. I tell my students that: “Never throw anything out.” So, I was probably—I know I was—was writing about kind of popular cultural things: music; civil rights was on my radar…not being working class because whatever you are, you don’t necessarily think that’s what you are; you don’t know what you are until later in hindsight. I knew at the time—where we lived in St. Clair Shores, at the time we moved there, was mostly a white collar community. I know most dads look like Fred MacMurray going to work, or Ozzie Nelson. [Fox laughs] They all had ties, which was very unusual. My grandfather got in an old beat up jalopy and drove to the plant early in the morning with a lunch bucket. I remember that. And I have a newer poem about that, as a matter of fact, and it’s going to be the title of the next book. So I’m starting to write about this, and now in December of 1965, two doors down, the neighbor boy who was a high school student and our newspaper boy—and this is hindsight, but his dad was a Marine, so as soon as he graduated high school, he signed up for the Marines. Well, he was killed in Vietnam. December 10th, I think, of ‘65. And everybody knew the kid, and it was like, “Wow, what’s that, and what’s Vietnam? What is that?” And I was very close to my grandmother, and his mother never really recovered from that, and I observed that. And then she died a couple of years later, and the word in the neighborhood was that she died of a broken heart. That just stayed with me. So, now I know I’m investigating Vietnam and of course it’s escalating and the culture’s changing and the music’s changing and all that stuff. And I know I’m writing more as I move toward the latter part of my junior high experience. I’m moving toward writing politically charged poetry and I’m becoming very political as a young kid. I become very interested in politics, especially the counter-cultural stuff—like the Students for a Democratic Society, this is making sense to me, and I did go to protests against the war in Vietnam. There happened to be, in our neck of the woods, a tank arsenal, and there were always protests there that were being led by the SDS and other groups like that, and I actually would go to them. I couldn’t really get my high school friends to go. They thought I was kind of crazy. And I thought, “We’re all kind of into this culture; we’re listening to this music, we’re participating in so many levels of it. Why don’t you get at part of it too?” In fact, I remember one of those guys at the time called me a “radical bunny rabbit.” I’m not sure what that meant. But I would always say, “Come on, come on, they’re having a…”—a war moratorium in ‘69—“Come on, we gotta wear these bands!” And then it would be like I did and nobody else did, and then the teachers are like, “What’s wrong with you?” Some of them I’m still friends with. One guy was a young teacher then and he became very interested and would talk to me quite a bit. He would prod me—he was a young teacher; at that time he was probably 24 or something, and he would taunt me a little bit by questioning my mind about these issues of the Vietnam War and civil rights and the moratorium. It was good for me, and he was a good teacher. So I’m writing these poems, I’m still doing that, and now I know I’m a poet. Whatever that is, I know that’s what I’m doing. I also then get interested in—probably in a subtle way in my mind, making the transition, I start writing for the school newspaper. And I start doing the rock and roll column and I do political opinions stuff—for the times; Well, the John Birch Society, which was around then—now we call them the Tea Party—and you can keep that in the interview—the Tea Party is the John Birch Society. Well, one kid in my class, his mother and dad were part of the John Birch Society and he must have gone home with the newspaper and showed it to them and so they were making—“Our schools are supporting the decadence of Open City; sex, drugs. And this guy is at the center of it because he wrote this editorial”—

FOX: Meaning you.

LIEBLER: Me. So I started getting these threats at home, because back in those days our phone numbers were listed—mine ain’t anymore but back in those days everybody was. We even had party lines, as you can probably remember. At any rate, I would get these calls: “Stop writing that stuff!” [hang up noise] “We’re gonna get you!” [hang up noise] And then they started making hay in the public school system–and I just referenced the guy last night at the performance, Gordon Dressel because he was on the city council. Any way, Dressel came to my support, as did this older priest—I wasn’t Catholic then; I’ve since converted to Catholicism, (but not because of this)—anyway, this older, respected Catholic priest in St. Clair Shores and Dressel both spoke out on my behalf. And after it became a news article and then these two went public with it, it just kind of petered out and went away. For my high school Spring Break, while most kids in the Midwest go to Florida I went to New York. And that was a real eye-opening experience. I was 17. We get in New York; we’re there a couple of weeks. I got to go to the Film Noirs which was a dream, and see all of this cultural stuff. And I was writing about it, and I was a poet, and I knew that. So I still continued running a parallel with poetry and politics. So as soon as I turned 18—that was the first year 18-year-olds could vote—I ran for precinct delegate.

Actually that was another weird story. They came through the community college and passed out a survey and it was various things like “Who do you want for President?” “Who would you support?” I put “Abbie Hoffman, Vice President – Jerry Rubin,” [Fox laughs] whatever. And so the people who did these surveys from the Student Democratic Council or something like that, they immediately called me and said, “You gotta run for precinct delegate.” Remember, I’m kind of anti-establishment just by nature so running for democratic precinct delegate—I mean, that would be like giving in to the man. But I wait it out and they talk me into it. I was supporting McGovern. And we did a clever thing where we disguised it; we said I was “uncommitted” but I was really committed to McGovern. Somebody else was committed to Wallace. So they were out. And I won by default by this large number of votes. So then I became involved in party politics at that time and continued that road going to the conventions and things like that. I took of course the loss of McGovern, his presidency, very hard, very hard.

A couple of years after that—again, now, from this working class family—I’m working at Sears and Roebuck as a janitor and we decide to organize, to bring a union into Sears. In hindsight, this is insane [Fox laughs], but at the time, it seemed like, “Yeah, we can do this!” But we weren’t kowtowing to the union and we had some fights with them. But anyway, the election was set and we got the ballots signed and the company, of course, they were pushing, pushing, pushing on the people who worked there not to vote for the union. In the end it was something like 300 employees voted against it and like six for it. It was really bad. I took that really hard. That was a time, too, though, my grandfather understood, because he was part of the 1937 sit-down strike at Dodge Main. I remember my grandmother saying—I should also mention this: my grandmother always thought that if I could get a job at Sears, which she loved and thought was the greatest store in the world, I’d be set. I don’t think they even knew what college was. I was going to it and they knew it, but I don’t think they understood what that was. But Sears? And also they would always throw Uncle Andy into the equation, and Uncle Andy had worked his way up from being a garbage slinger to like the crew chief in Detroit—the garbage men. So they said, “If you can end up like Uncle Andy, you’re gonna be set up for life.” Sears? Even better; that’s a step up the class ladder. Well, I worked at Sears, so my grandmother was like, “Oh, I don’t know if you should jeopardize that job at Sears!” My grandfather—I distinctly remember him saying, “This is serious business!” That was the first time—because he was really not an activist or anything. He was part of the ‘37 sit down but only because he believed that was right. He wasn’t the leader of it; he was just there with 10,000 other men, participating in that. So I just started college at this point. I knew I was going to be a poet and I’m writing a lot of poetry. I get into a creative writing class because someone said that’s what I needed to do. And I met with this professor who ended up becoming my mentor. And the first thing he said—we had little meetings at the beginning of the semester—and he said, “What poets do you read?” And I said, “Read? I don’t read poets. I’m a poet! I write!” [Fox laughs] He goes, “You’re an idiot!” I go, “Well, what do you mean? I’m writing poetry!” He goes, “You can’t write anything until you start reading.” So he drew up a list of things. And I really hadn’t read books before that much. I’d read, as I still tell my students, two and a half books that I remember in my school years. One was called Yellow Eyes and it was about a mountain lion. The other one was The Day Lincoln Was Shot; it was part of a reading. And I read half of The Mysterious Island before I got bored. So that was it until I ran into this guy and he says, “Who are you reading?” I was listening to Bob Dylan over and over and over, and the Beatles, but I couldn’t really name poets. I never really read or studied Shakespeare or anything. So he drew up a list and I had to start reading. My book collection started growing at that point. Now it’s like probably all of yours; it’s insane.

FOX: Yep.

LIEBLER: My wife knows that. Now I just kind of pitch ‘em in a box and take them to the used bookstore and say, “I don’t want any money; just give them a humane death,” because there’s too many. But at that time—I remember this little library, this little shelf in my room that my grandfather had put up there and it was maybe three feet long with two shelves and it was starting to fill up with these books. That was my entire collection at that point. And they were Shakespeare plays and some of Dylan Thomas and some of the stuff that he had written that was essential to start to read. Well, he was right, of course. My poetry did start to get more dimensional. And this was at a community college, and that’s why I have such great respect for community colleges, because the one I went to was the greatest. I’ll show you how great it was. A guy we used to go to the protests with, a professor in political science, was always getting his head knocked in and arrested with the rest of us. He was the head of the SDS when he was in college and so forth. He’s that community college’s president now.

FOX: Whoa.

LIEBLER: And we put poetry events on together nowadays. We do big poetry festivals. So that’s another little story, but he always had an army sack hanging over his shoulder and a green army coat for the protests and now he’s the freaking president of this college. But we had this wonderful English department and staff. We had two major artists in residence, a great local poet heading creative writing. And the poetry people in the English department were friends with a lot of the counterculture artists. So we had readings at the time—we didn’t quite understand it, but Allen Ginsberg read there, Ed Sanders read there. Bukowski used to come all the time.

FOX: Oh really?

LIEBLER: Yeah, he had a good friend in Detroit, and this is before most people had heard of him—now he’s a big cult hero, but then nobody had really heard of him much. But we were into him because these teachers had turned us on to his stuff. And he would come to this college at that time for a plane ticket, a place to stay and all the booze he could drink. [Fox laughs] That’s all he wanted. Forget the honorarium. And he came a few times, and he would do these readings—you guys probably have seen him too. He did these readings that were just so intense. And here we are, 18, going “Holy crap, man. Wow.” I remember one poem I’ll always remember, and I thought, “Whatever that moment is in the poetry, I want to get to that in my own writing.” And he just looked up at everybody and he goes [gravelly voice], “You want to know what love is, kids? It’s sleeping with a woman after you pissed the bed.” [Fox laughs] And I thought, “Wow. Wow. I don’t know if I want to do that, but wow.” [all laugh] And there was something deep in there. It was like, “Whoa.” Then he read some poem about that, written out here in L.A. which I could have never imagined ever seeing in my lifetime. So that was part of it too: “Wow, what’s that like? This guy lives in the post office, and all the things he writes about.” But we were able to get that kind of experience at our community college-unbelievable…

from Rattle #36, Winter 2011

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