January 7, 2020

Note: This poem is best read on a large screen. Those on small screens can view the full form here.

Martín Espada

MORIR SOÑANDO

for Luis Garden Acosta (1945-2019)
Brooklyn, New York

I saw the empty cross atop the empty church on South 4th Street, as if Jesus
flapped his arms and flew away, spooked by one ambulance siren too many.
I saw the stained glass windows I wanted to break with a brick, the mural
of Saint Mary and the Angels hovering innocent as spies over the congregation,
and wanted to know why you brought me here, the son of a man punched
in the face by a priest for questioning the Trinity, who punched him back.

This is El Puente, you said. The Bridge. I knew about the Williamsburg Bridge,
eight lanes of traffic and the subway stampeding in the open windows of the barrio
all summer. You spread your arms in that abandoned church and saw the spinning
of a carousel better than any wooden horses pumping up and down at Coney Island:
here the ESL classes for the neighbors cursed with swollen tongues in English;
there the clinics on contraception, the pestilence in the veins of the unsuspecting;
here the karate lessons, feet spearing the air to keep schoolyard demons away;
there the dancers in white, swirling their skirts to the drumming of bomba;
here the workshops on Puerto Rican history, La Masacre de Ponce where your
mother’s beloved painted his last words on the street with a fingertip of blood.

I was a law student, first year, memorizing law school Latin, listening to classical
guitar on my boom box as I studied the rules of property: It’s mine. It’s not yours.
I saw only what could be proven by a preponderance of the evidence: the church
abandoned by the church, the cross atop the church abandoned by the Son of God.
My belly empty as Saint Mary of the Angels, I told you I was hungry, and we left.

I wanted Chinese food, but you told me about the Chinese take-out down the block
where you stood behind a man who shrieked about the price of wonton soup,
left and returned with a can of gasoline, splashed it on the floor and pulled a box
of kitchen matches from his pocket. Will you wait till I pick up my egg roll and pork
fried rice? you said, with a high school teacher’s exasperated authority, so he did.

You could talk an arsonist into postponing his inferno till you left with lunch,
but you couldn’t raise the dead in the ER at Greenpoint Hospital, even in your suit
and tie. You couldn’t convince the girl called Sugar to rise from the gurney after
the gunshot drained the blood from her body. You couldn’t persuade the doctor who
peeled his gloves and shook his head to bring her back to life, telling him do it again,
an arsonist in medical scrubs trying to strike a wet match. You couldn’t jumpstart
the calliope in her heart so the carousel of horses would rise and fall and rise again.
Whenever you saw the gutted church, you would see the sheets of the gurney
dipped in red, all the gurneys rolling into the ER with a sacrifice of adolescents.

We walked to the luncheonette on Havemeyer Street. A red awning announced
Morir Soñando. To Die Dreaming, you said, from the DR, my mother’s island.
The boy at the counter who spoke no English, brown as my father, called Martín
like me, grinned the way you grinned at El Puente, once Saint Mary of the Angels.
He squeezed the oranges into a drizzle of juice with evaporated milk, cane sugar
and ice, shook the elixir and poured it till the froth spilled over the lip of the glass.
Foam freckled my snout as I raised my hand for another. Intoxicated by morir
soñando number three and the prophet gently rocking at my table, I had a vision:

ESL classes healing the jaws wired shut by English, clinics full of adolescents
studying the secrets of the body unspeakable in the kitchen or the confessional,
karate students landing bare feet on the mat with a thump and grunt in unison,
bomba dancers twirling to a song in praise of Yoruba gods abolished by the priests,
the words of Puerto Rican rebels painted on the walls by brushes dipped in every
color, pressed in the pages of notebooks by a generation condemned to amnesia.

Morir soñando: Luis, I know you died dreaming of South 4th Street, the banners
that said no to the toxic waste plant down the block or the Navy bombarding
an island of fishermen for target practice thousands of miles away. Morir soñando:
I know you died dreaming of vejigantes, carnival máscaras bristling with horns
that dangled with the angels at El Puente. Morir soñando: I know you died dreaming
of the next El Puente. Morir soñando: I know you died dreaming of the hammer’s claw,
the drill whining to the screw, the dust like snow in a globe, then the shy genius
raising her hand in the back of the room. Morir soñando: I know you died dreaming
of the poets who stank of weed in the parking lot, then stood before the mike
you electrified for them and rubbed their eyes when the faces in their poems
crowded there, waiting for the first word, so we could all die dreaming, morir
soñando, intoxicated by the elixir of the tongue, oh rocking prophet at my table.

from Poets Respond
January 7, 2020

__________

Martín Espada: “This poem is an elegy for a dear friend and mentor, written to mark the first anniversary of his death on January 8th. Luis Garden Acosta, through his activism, organizing and vision, not only changed his community in Brooklyn, but the lives of untold thousands like me. Please see his obituary in the New York Times, and please see the Luis Garden Acosta Legacy Fund at El Puente here.” (web)

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May 30, 2011

Review by Howard Rosenberg

THE TROUBLE BALL
by Martín Espada

W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.
500 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York 10110
ISBN 978-0-393-08003-2
2011, 66 pp., $24.95
http://books.wwnorton.com

Martín Espada’s latest book, The Trouble Ball, is a collage of 24 poems that serve as vehicles for the expression of his political and social concerns. To share those concerns, he takes readers on a poetic journey to a variety of places including the streets of Brooklyn, a city in Wisconsin, and a detention center in Chile.

Brooklyn is the base for his first four poems, beginning with its title poem, which shines a spotlight on Brooklyn’s “field of dreams,” Ebbets Field. Its first stanza reveals the celebration as each home game began:

When the umpires lumbered on the field, the band in the stands
with a bass drum and trombone struck up a chorus of Three Blind Mice.
The peanut vendor shook a cowbell and hollered. The home team
raced across the diamond, and thirty thousand people shouted
all at once, as if an army of liberation rolled down Bedford Avenue.

In those lines, Espada captures the fans’ fervor for their team, Brooklyn’s status symbol. It was a devotion that turned to disbelief and grief when, after the 1957 season, the Dodgers abandoned the borough. The team’s departure doomed its ballpark: “A wrecking ball swung an uppercut into the face / of Ebbets Field” in 1960.

The poem, however, is about more than the loss of a team and its field. It’s a carefully constructed statement on discrimination. That focus is exemplified by both Satchell Paige and the speaker’s parents. Paige, the pitcher who threw the fastball called the “Trouble Ball,” was barred by baseball’s racial prejudice from playing in the Major Leagues during his prime. As a result, many of America’s baseball fans lost the opportunity to watch Paige pitch in his peak years.

The speaker’s parents were discrimination’s victims when they were refused service in a restaurant because they were “a mixed couple.” However, the speaker’s father didn’t passively accept the injustice. When the waiter “refused to serve them,” the speaker states in the poem’s next line, “my father hoisted him by the lapels and the waiter’s feet dangled in the air, / a puppet and his furious puppeteer.”

Espada’s concern for others extends beyond human beings. “My Heart Kicked Like a Mouse in a Paper Bag” is a poem about a janitor on a “cleaning crew” at Sears. The worker, the poem’s speaker, witnesses the cruel killing of a mouse by a security guard who then tosses the bag containing the mouse toward him. At that moment, the janitor says, “my heart kicked like a mouse in a paper bag.” As a result, now, before the speaker places his garbage cans on the street for pickup, he inspects the refuse for “the perfect mouse to liberate.”

Espada, a lawyer, even writes about a twenty-three-year-old man willing to defy the law to protect another human being. In one of the book’s first-person narratives, “Isabel’s Corrido,” he shares how the young man marries a nineteen-year-old Mexican woman in Wisconsin so she can remain in the United States. In the poem’s last line, the man admits “There was a conspiracy to commit a crime. / This is my confession: I’d do it again.” Espada both presents life’s complexity and elucidates how “simple” acts create the complexity of our lives.

The book contains other mini-portraits. In “The Spider and the Angel,” Espada shares the first-person account of an 11-year-old boy challenged to defend his identity in a summer day camp in Brooklyn. The title’s nouns refer to two other campers, both also Puerto Rican, who attended the same camp.

The speaker’s “crippled Spanish” caused “spider-boy” to challenge his claim to be Puerto Rican. To provide proof, the speaker bloodied Angel in a camp-approved wrestling match. Being viewed as Puerto Rican justified the damage he did to Angel’s mouth. Afterward, the speaker announces, “I was satisfied. We were Puerto Ricans, / wrestling for the approval of our keepers.” However, it seems that he was fighting for more than his “keepers” approval; he was fighting for his peer’s recognition, which he gained.

His action caused me to think about peer pressure, of times when I was challenged and about how I responded. During my first year in junior high school year, I was challenged to a fight once, my small size provoking it. I refused to fight, but I don’t regret my inaction. If I had accepted the challenge and defeated my classmate—a possibility given that he was slightly shorter than I was—at best I would have gained entry into their “club,” a group whose companionship I was better off without.

In the poem, “The Swimming Pool at Villa Grimaldi,” Espada returns to third person to address the mistreatment of inmates at Villa Grimaldi, a detention center in Chile where “convoys spilled their cargo / of blindfolded prisoners,” men and women arrested as subversives. The poem shifts between the inhumane way the prisoners were treated and the prison’s swimming pool where “the guards and officers would gather families / for barbecues.”

By contrasting the staff’s pleasure with the prisoners pain, he intensifies the difference and then magnifies it. For example, while an interrogator taught his son how to swim and a torturer taught his daughter how to float, “a dissident pulled by the hair from a vat / of urine and feces cried out for God,” the staff and their kin oblivious to the prisoner’s pain.

The inmates weren’t the only victims; their guardians were too. The latter lost their humanity:

what was human in them
had dissolved forever, vanished like the prisoners
thrown from helicopters into the ocean by the secret police,
their bellies slit so the bodies could not float.

In the last line above, Espada creates an image so vivid I felt as if I were viewing the scene on a Salvador Dalí poster of it, the poetic equivalent of the surrealist painter’s brushstrokes, one that magnifies the victims’ agony while devouring a viewer’s attention—a verbal Venus Flytrap.

And then there’s the poem without a locale. “Epiphany” is a dedication to a person (Adrian Mitchell), its title repeated eleven times within its content. It’s one of the few poems in which my attention drifted, the poem’s abstractness a breeze pushing my mind away from its pages. Yet even that poem carries a political message, expressed by its opening stanza:

Epiphany is not a blazing light. A blazing light
blazes when airplane’s spread their demon’s winds
and drop their demon’s eggs over the city,
and the city burns like the eye of a screaming horse.

In The Trouble Ball, Espada again uses poetry as an outlet for his desire to reveal the suffering that oppression can cause. By illuminating the invisible, he exposes castigators of both man and animal in language accessible even to those reluctant to read poems. In doing so, he continues to represent those unable either to speak or to speak in as powerful a voice. His voice becomes theirs.

____________

Howard Rosenberg has written articles for both magazines and newspapers, including the Philadelphia Daily News. He has had poems published in Christian Science Monitor, Poetica, and Vanguard, and his poetry book reviews have appeared in Rattle. His poem, “Stetter to Sheffield to Matcovich,” was selected by Spitball: The Literary Baseball Magazine as its “Baseball Poem of the Month” for July 2010. He teaches writing at a two-year college in New Jersey.

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