June 26, 2022

Kaitlyn Spees

FROM THE WOMEN’S RESTROOM

The restroom in my workplace is like
women’s rooms everywhere.
The floor is thumbprint-sized tiles
in three distinct shades of gray arranged
in no discernable pattern. Just above
the sinks of course there’s one of those
ubiquitous and sanctimonious stickers
shaped like a bare blue foot,
reminding me that “Water is Life”
and thanking me for “Using Less,”
which invites, in my view, a discussion
about what “Using Less Life”
might possibly mean. This restroom
boasts two paper towel dispensers—
one, modern, breadbox-sized gray plastic,
wails over waste while it grants
each waving supplicant a short
sheet. The other, old-school metal,
offers its three-fold papers freely,
then gapes, emptily, at a long-defunct
tampon dispenser still asking, forlornly, for quarters.
Flyers taped just above eye-level
inside each stall’s gappy half-door
entertain their (quite captive)
audience with primary-colored
flowcharts and checklists about the Clery Act
and guidelines for mandatory reporting.
I read them idly each month on the days
when I bivouac to the bathroom repeatedly
to shiver and yawn and pass
blood clots which bloom in the toilet water.
They’re strange little rooms, right? Where we choose
courteously not to hear our colleagues’ business.
The flyers change with the times.
In 2016, for example, the signage sought
volunteers for a clinical trial to see whether
IUD insertion could be made less painful.
The response was, understandably,
less than enthusiastic: because—given a choice?
Who would want to be on the control arm
of that study? For months that hopeful flyer’s
sad, intact, phone-numbered fringe fluttered
in the slam of stall doors until the election,
after which those little slips of paper
vanished like hotcakes. I think I laughed
a single dull bark when I saw how shorn
the flyer had become. And here,
I think today, shivering, yawning, cramping,
is the fruition; about to bloom in blood.
 

from Poets Respond
June 26, 2022

__________

Kaitlyn Spees: “I’m not sure this poem is finished yet, but tossing it out into the void this week feels like doing something, so here I am sending it in anyway.”

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March 23, 2021

Kaitlyn Spees

JOGGING AFTER THE VATICAN RESOLVES THE DUBIUM “DOES THE CHURCH HAVE THE POWER TO GIVE THE BLESSING TO UNIONS OF PERSONS OF THE SAME SEX?”

The paths I love, my Lord, are narrow and switch-backed
and I’m puffing my way up them parsing
my disappointment—
Today the Vatican confirmed that the Church cannot
“bless the unions of persons of the same sex”
because they say that “blessing” treads
too close to “sacrament” for comfort, and moreover
sex divorced from procreation
is apparently still a sin.

Rattlesnakes drowse on the trails I love, Lord,
and I knew I wasn’t suicidal anymore
when I accidentally stepped
between a knotted pair napping in the dust.
The diamond band of their backs pressed
my brainstem even before I parsed them
into snake, into threat, but—here’s the miracle—
once I understood I still gasped “ohshit” and pounded away.
The seatbelts and bike helmets came back later.

Lord, I thought the rattlesnakes were going to be
metaphors. I thought that next I’d bring up
my mild familial allergy to apples just in case
the imagery wasn’t blatant enough already.
But, Lord, I loved the woman who ran
these trails with me. I didn’t know I loved her.
It ended badly. And the way that I love, Lord,
is narrow and branching and switch-backed and, Lord, I love you.
Lord, I will not let you go. Bless me. Let me bless you.

from Poets Respond
March 21, 2021

__________

Kaitlyn Spees: “I think that a lot of Catholics, myself included, were disappointed this week by the Vatican’s decision that the Church could not bless same-sex relationships. I guess I decided to take up the argument with the big man himself.”

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