July 13, 2016

Chanel Brenner

TO THE FRUSTRATED MOTHER IN STARBUCKS WITH HER THREE-YEAR-OLD SON

Don’t worry, this will end.

One day, he will stop hitting you
when he’s mad, his hands swatting
at your face like a short-circuited robot.
One day, he will stop throwing himself
on the pale cement
and thrashing his head like a punk rocker
when you tell him, No.
Someday, he will even stop running out the door
every time he sees a pigeon
bobbing its mangy head down the sidewalk,
leaving you to spill your coffee
and chase after him down the street,
grabbing his shirt
just before he steps
into moving traffic.
You probably won’t notice that he’s stopped.
You’ll be too busy helping him trace
his upper-case letters,
playing game after game of Roshambo,
and listening to his knock-knock jokes.
You’ll be too busy answering his questions,
Mommy, Can I tell you something?
Mommy, Can I have gummy bears?
Mommy, Who was the first person on earth?
You probably won’t remember
how you thought that it would be easier
when he turned three, but it wasn’t.
Why do they call it the terrible twos?
You probably won’t remember
until you see another mother struggling
with her three-year-old son,
her jaw tense, her hand clutching
his arm too tight as he grabs
her splintering blonde hair in his
freakishly strong fist
and pulls. Then you will remember
how you wanted to escape
and how you felt like it would never end.
By then, your son will be standing still
in line beside you, ordering an Iced Caramel Macchiato
his large hands hanging at his sides.
Only now you will remember
him small in your lap,
his hand tight around your finger,
the other one pointing at a balloon,
Mommy, Boom!

from Rattle #52, Summer 2016
Tribute to Angelenos

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__________

Chanel Brenner: “When my older son, Riley, died at age six from a brain AVM hemorrhage, writing poetry and the support of the Los Angeles Poets and Writers Collective helped me survive. I am lucky to live in L.A. among so many brilliant and openhearted poets. Last 4th of July at a parade, I saw a mom and her three-year-old son who reminded me of what it was like when Riley was three. This poem came out of wanting to reach out to her and other mothers about that turbulent age and the unwanted feelings that can surface.” (website)

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June 3, 2014

Chanel Brenner

A POEM FOR WOMEN WHO DON’T WANT CHILDREN

I won’t preach about the rewards of motherhood.
I won’t say it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.
I won’t say it’s the best job I’ve ever had.
I won’t say you’ll regret not having a child.
I won’t say you’ll forget what life was like before.
I won’t say it makes life worth living.
What I will say
is my son died.
What I will say 
is I would still do it again. 

 

from Rattle #42, Winter 2013
2013 Rattle Poetry Prize Finalist

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__________

Chanel Brenner: “This poem was inspired by the answers I used to get from other mothers when I asked how they were doing with the whole new mother thing. It is from a collection of poems I have written about my son, Riley, since he died at age six from an arteriovenous malformation (AVM). Writing about the loss has helped me survive. I hope my poems help others heal and realize they are not alone in their pain.”

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September 15, 2013

Rattle is proud to announce the winner of the 2013 Rattle Poetry Prize:

Roberto Ascalon

“The Fire This Time”
by
Roberto Ascalon
Seattle, WA

__________

Finalists:

“A Poem for Women Who Don’t Want Children”
Chanel Brenner
Santa Monica, CA

“My Mother Told Us Not to Have Children”
Rebecca Gayle Howell
Lubbock, TX

“Baby Love”
Courtney Kampa
New York, NY

“What He Must Have Seen”
Stephen Kampa
Daytona Beach, FL

“Man on Mad Anthony”
Bea Opengart
Cincinatti, OH

“Laundry List”
Michelle Ornat
Elma, NY

“Man on the Floor”
Jack Powers
Fairfield, CT

“Basic Standards Test”
Danez Smith
St. Paul, MN

“Who Breathed in Binders”
Patricia Smith
Howell, NJ

“Of You”
Wendy Videlock
Grand Junction, CO

 

These eleven poems will be published in the Winter issue of Rattle this December. Each of the Finalists are also eligible for the $1,000 Readers’ Choice Award, to be selected by entrant and subscriber vote (the voting period is December 1, 2013 – February 15, 2014).

Another nine poems were selected for standard publication, and offered a space in the open section of a future issue. These poets will be notified individually about details, but they are: Jacqueline Berger, Daniel Bohnhorst, Jackleen Holton, Sharon Kessler-Farchi, Michael Meyerhofer, Kathleen Nolan, Charlotte Pence, Sam Sax, and Timothy Schirmer.

Thank you to everyone who participated in the competition, which would not have been a success without your diverse and inspiring poems. We received a record 2,105 entries and well over 8,000 poems, and it was an honor to read each of them.

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