May 6, 2016

Abby E. Murray

PRAYER ON NATIONAL CHILDFREE DAY

Blessed are the miscarriages,
the midnight cramps
and ultrasound jelly,
the long tongue of photographs
that betrays my empty pocket.
Blessed are the minus signs
and skipped cycles and scarring,
the injections drawn up at dawn
by faithful partners
then needled into the thigh.
Blessed be the benders,
the cigarettes and sushi,
the labradoodles and collies
with a bed in every room.
Blessed are the scholars,
the babysitters and aunts,
for you shall bring us
the pregnant woman’s confession:
her passion for pineapple
and your own wasted time,
her blue hour longer than yours,
her well of love dug deeper.
Blessed are the poems
you scratch into the ground,
the nights drained of sleep
and washed with worry.
Happy national day of choice,
day of desire, day of emptiness,
happy national day of solitude.
Happy day of nobody’s business,
happy day of the naked night.
I’ve made a cake for you
nine layers high, come,
bring a fork, bring a plate.

from Rattle #51, Spring 2016
Tribute to Feminist Poets

[download audio]

__________

Abby E. Murray: “As a military spouse who writes to cope with war and the army lifestyle, it seems impossible not to be a feminist poet. When my daughter was born, I read A Room of One’s Own to her, aloud, before any other book, because it is the closest we will get to a room of our own. If that doesn’t make me a feminist I don’t know what the hell does.” (website)

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July 9, 2015

Abby E. Murray

PHANTOM LIMB

You say it is amazing what Afghans can build
and I picture them approaching your outpost at night
like gods who have been summoned,
shaken loose from the mountains.
They unravel coils of metal wrapped around gravel
and earth, HESCO bastions meant to absorb shrapnel,
take wires away wound around their arms
elbow to shoulder, and the next morning
you find a fence with a swinging gate
staked around a patch of watermelon vines
so beautiful it reminds you of home.
You say they can build anything
if they are given enough wire, the hood of a car,
a curtain, some water. Across the ocean,
I know I am not a builder. I’ve hammered myself
into your side, useful as a phantom limb.
I see everything you see and do nothing
except remind you where you left me:
every morning you find a deep well
and look into it and wave until I wave back.

from Rattle #47, Spring 2015

[download audio]

__________

Abby E. Murray: “I’d like to say I started writing poetry because it called to me and demanded to be written, that it recognized my voice somehow like a lost dog and I brought it home to love it for what it was. The truth is, I had too many talented sisters, and I was no good at softball, dance, violin, singing, or track. I starting writing poetry because it was the only thing in the house that was mine and I refused to give it up. Today, of course, I write because I must.”

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May 31, 2015

Abby E. Murray

MEMORIAL DAY 2015

Hello stranger, dear neighbor, brave soldier, hey buddy,
I want you to know we’re glad you ate the goat meat
half-cooked over burning paper, that you handed out jawbreakers,
that you researched the body and all its invisible hinges,
the hair that melts and bones that flavor the blood like soup,
thank you, we mean it, for feeding one stray dog but not the other,
for eating beef stew from a bag and cocoa beverage powder
on your anniversary, on Christmas, thanks for drowning the mice
together in the same bucket, for finding Sergeant Garcia first,
for bringing Connor home and running the memorial race,
for dropping that rose into the ground in Pennsylvania,
for wearing your blues, you sure look sharp, you look good,
you wouldn’t know you’re a soldier, you’re such a normal guy,
so thanks for trusting the interpreter, for saying woah, woah, woah
and giving money to the sheikh, thanks for giving your heavy knife
to the Afghan colonel as a gift, for waiting to hear if the city fell,
thanks for going abroad, overseas, into the sandbox, hell and back,
Godknowswhere and no-man’s-land, because we can only imagine
the PTSD, the hopelessness, the sedatives, the sweats,
we’re so happy you made it, you survived, you came back,
not a dent in the fender, this beer’s for you, buddy, sir, kiddo,
without you I wouldn’t be free to drink it.

Poets Respond
May 31, 2015

[download audio]

__________

Abby E. Murray: “I celebrate every Memorial Day (and Veterans Day) by watching my husband get thanked for his service, an experience he seems unable to escape. Does anyone know a soldier who appreciates being thanked in this way? Please, stop saying thank you for your service unless you can acknowledge what the word service entails. All he wants to do on Monday is drink gin and think about his dead friends. It’s hard enough for me to keep him alive without you walking across our yard to remind him what his loss has provided for others.” (website)

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