March 22, 2022

Susan Browne

YOU WONDER IF YOU CAN WRITE SOMETHING

that has hope in it.
Today, you read, there’s a big rush to buy
bomb shelters.
Normal people are buying them,
not just millionaires.
There is some hope in that:
thinking life will go on after.
If you go shopping today
it won’t be for a bomb shelter
but a beautiful anything
you can find: a soft pair of socks,
a necklace that catches the light
although nothing will get your mind off
of the mass grave in Ukraine,
the jaw-bones & eye sockets,
the pregnant women running
from the destroyed maternity hospital.
Your friend said she doesn’t read the news
because what can she do, what can any of us do
to stop the butchers
because we have to be butchers
to stop them, a hopeless logic.
You could put a pear in your pocket
& pretend you have a horse to slowly feed it to.
You could build a ramshackle hut
for the dandelions before the spring wind
blows through.

from Poets Respond
March 22, 2022

__________

Susan Browne: “I wrote this poem after reading the story in the New York Times about Europeans buying bomb shelters, iodine pills, and survival guides.” (web)

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October 30, 2023

Brian O’Sullivan

FALL

“If you don’t believe in something, you’ll fall for anything.”
—Falsely attributed to Alexander Hamilton

Felicia Culpa, if you don’t believe in something, you will fall
off a ladder in a purple-curtained Bourbon Street shop where  
you were stocking bamboo shelves with magic
doodahs, and a voodoo doll for “Change” will
fall with you, and its head will break off, and you’ll breathe
in all the change vapors and sawdust and you’ll find yourself
 
floating in space and orbiting yourself.
Then, wild girl, if you believe only in yourself you will fall,
into your own atmosphere, and you’ll breathe
your own fire in, and you’ll dive down to depths where
rock flows free, and, believe me, you’ll wonder how there will 
ever be solidity without some kind of miracle or magic.
 
So, dear one, you’ll want to believe, because if there is magic,
presto change-o, you can still make solid ground for yourself,
sweet Felicia, you can grab a wand and work your will.
But if you don’t believe the warnings you will fall
pregnant and your Victorian aunt will tell you where
the wayward go, and the air you breathe
 
will stiffen to suffocate, and you can’t breathe
pure incense, that’s not the kind of magic
that’s going to get you to a place where
you can set up the Jenga pieces of yourself.
If you believe the moralizers you’ll fall
like a tower that went up too far too fast, and you will
 
end up a Babel-tongued mess, writing your will
in Comic Sans hieroglyphics on the memories you breathe.
If you believe everything you’re told, you’ll fall
into wyvern caves inside rabbit holes lined with magic
fur, get snared in the warp of rhyme and weft of stories, and you will
get lost at last in the ant farm of words, and end up nowhere.
 
But you might have to go nowhere before you can get anywhere;
things get strange when you’re making a change, and I know you will
make yourself try again to assemble the kit of yourself
and you’ll build yourself a pair of lungs to breathe
with and you’ll pick some plausible, livable kind of magic, 
knowing that even if you believe in something, you’ll fall.
 
So fall (“o felix culpa!”) where all the laughing children fall, and breathe,
from that pile of leaves, the air which will crackle with dying, living magic—
just let yourself believe, disbelieve, believe, disbelieve—and fall.
 
 
 

Prompt: “The prompt, given on the Rattlecast, was to enter in a Google search the words ‘if you don’t’ followed by a single letter, and to choose one of Google’s suggestions for completing the phrase as a starting point for a poem. I picked ‘if you don’t believe …’ and it seemed to me that an awful lot of different kinds of things can happen if you do or don’t believe in something, so I thought it might be fun to use a form, the sestina, that would give me a lot of room and motivation to look at different perspectives on belief and disbelief.”

from Rattle #81, Fall 2023
Tribute to Prompt Poems

__________

Brian O’Sullivan: “Thirty years ago or so, when I was taking a great poetry workshop as an undergrad, I liked prompts because I had no idea what I was doing, and I needed a jump start. Afterwards, when I went to grad school, more academic, argumentative kinds of writing took up all of my time and most of my sense of identity as a writer, and I stopped writing poetry (though I never stopped reading it and talking with students about it). When the pandemic left me with more time on my hands, I started working on poems again. I had some specific stories and themes (mostly growing out of my other lockdown obsession, family history) that I wanted to write about, so I didn’t think I’d be all that interested in prompts. But I tried a few prompts at Rattle and elsewhere, and I was hooked. At first, I think it was because my ADD brain (which I had learned about late in that 30-year gap between my undergrad years and the pandemic) responded well to having at least the semblance of some imposed order and focus, and that actually somehow made more room for the chaos of imagination to come through. Combining a prompt with a form, like the sestina, worked even better at making the writing seem to come almost ‘automatically’ and get past my over-active internal censor. But then I found that I also loved the fact that a whole bunch of people were working on the same prompt as me. I’ve never been very good at networking; it’s one of my biggest professional hinderances. But with poetry, there’s something beyond networking. It’s more like a community, even if it’s an invisible one. And shared prompts help to build the sense of community.”

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February 14, 2024

Dusty Bryndal

NO EVIDENCE

I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
One month later, my son was hit
and killed by a late model, blue Ford F150 truck.
 
My former therapist said I was being struck
by the perfect storm.
You are in the middle of the perfect storm.
Whatever the fuck that meant.
 
It’s a scary feeling to learn you have cancer.
That goes without saying.
 
Thinking about it took up a lot of my mental energy—
there was a lot of fear and worry, and so many unknowns.
 
Then my son died and of course the cancer took a back seat.
 
At that point my feelings about cancer warped
and turned to anger. I thought it was
the stupid cancer that killed my son.
 
He was determined to go out and skate that day—
the day before my surgery. The day he died.
 
His friends told me this.
That he needed to get out on his board that day.
 
For a long time I chose not to—was determined not to—
write about it. The cancer, I mean. I guess subconsciously
I was trying to obliterate ever even having it.
 
You’ll find very little evidence
of my having cancer
in my journals.
I never posted on social media.
 
I never wrote about how terrifying the whole process
was, or about how sometimes I would stand transfixed,
staring at the huge glass etched sign outside the white brick building
on the corner, in the Upper East Side of Manhattan, that read:
“Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.”
Cancer Center. I’d stand there, simply frozen, taking in those words.
 
I didn’t write about how appointments
overtook my life. The exhaustion of meeting with so many doctors.
The breast surgeon oncologist, the radiologist,
my general oncologist. The geneticist.
 
I didn’t write about all of the waiting. The agonizing waiting.
 
There was a health food store called Health Nuts:
I would stop in after every appointment to get a shot
of wheatgrass juice, and wonder how many people
from the cancer center two blocks down
had stepped in to get a wheatgrass shot.
 
I never wrote about how scared
I was of passing this on to my daughter.
Would she have to get her ovaries removed?
Her breasts?
 
Would I?
 
It all depended on genetic testing
that took two agonizing weeks to get results.
 
I remember the genetic counselor, her name was Julia.
It almost seemed like she was the type of person
who enjoyed handing out scary shit to people.
 
She told me how my type of cancer could jump
from breast to breast.
That it could possibly turn up in the other breast
before all was said and done.
 
She said that if I had a certain gene,
the cancer could spread to my stomach.
 
I asked her what I would do then?
 
You can’t remove my stomach.
 
I swear there was a gleam in her eye
when she responded: Oh, yes we can.
We can remove your stomach
and give you a manufactured one.
 
I remember going home on that Friday night
after meeting with her. I had had plans to do something,
but canceled. My husband was working late, so I sat alone
on the couch until the sun set and the house got dark,
tired and scared—crying it out before
I could pull myself up to make some dinner.
 
This was before Judah died. I was terrified
that I could pass it on to both children.
 
When I spoke this fear to my doctor, I could barely
choke out the words. But he understood through my sobs
and hand gestures that I was asking
the question: Will I pass this on?
 
I never wrote about the stage my cancer
had reached, 2B. The classification had to do with the size
of the tumor and the fact that it had moved further
into my breast from its original nesting point.
 
You won’t find any evidence of how the doctors
took me into a small conference room
and had me decide which treatment option
I wanted to take—how they showed me twenty years’ worth
of research to help me make my decision.
 
Did I want to do a lumpectomy?
It would preserve most of the breast,
but require radiation treatment.
 
Or, did I want to remove the breast completely,
and possibly not have to do any radiation?
Still I really wouldn’t even know that until they removed
my sentinel nodes during surgery.
 
I just wanted someone to tell me what to do.
 
I never wrote about the surgeon:
the very kind, caring, and good-at-her-job surgeon
with her long blonde hair and gentle hands
 
who was determined to leave my mangled breast
as pretty as possible, as she removed more and more
breast tissue, trying to get clean margins.
 
She had to get my permission to practice
a certain type of stitch that would
leave less scarring.
 
Judah was gone at this point
and I could not convey to her enough
how much I didn’t care.
 
There were student doctors at the cancer center
who took me into yet another small conference room
as my surgeon stood vigil
and asked if they could use my tumor for research.
 
I numbly signed the papers.
Yes, please use my tumor for science.
My kid is dead. I hate everything.
 
I never wrote about how I learned to visualize
my cancer as a black disk in my mind’s eye—
 
to be burned up by a white light.
I would meditate and form the black disc
in my mind and imagine a fire-like light,
 
like the surface of the sun,
slowly making its way over the disc, enveloping it.
 
I visualized the cancer retreating like this, every time
the worry threatened to overtake me. I used this method
while awaiting the results of an oncotype score—
 
the number that tells the doctors how aggressive
a tumor is, and what the likelihood of the cancer
returning would be, and whether I would need chemotherapy.
 
I used this light method again after the surgery
that removed my sentinel node and a few others
to find out if my cancer had spread.
 
Turns out, the cancer was only just beginning to spread.
I had micrometastasis, and hopefully, they said,
they had caught all of the cancerous nodes.
 
Again, the waiting. The waiting.
 
I never wrote about the integrative specialist
who discussed nutrition with me, and all the things
I needed to cut out of my diet now that I was trying
to remain cancer free.
 
Avoid gluten, dairy, sugar, white rice, white flour,
and alcohol, especially hard liquor.
 
She asked me how I would replace butter in my diet.
I looked at her like she was crazy.
I’m southern, I said. So that’s gonna be a no.
 
I was joking and partially relented to using
Earth Balance and coconut oil. But still.
 
I didn’t write about the radiation center
and the nine tiny tattoo dots
that framed the area around my left breast
just below my collar bone and down
 
to the top of my ribs,
made so that the radiation tech
would know exactly
where to direct the machine.
 
I had to learn how to do deep inspiration breath holds
so that I could hold my breath properly during treatment.
They needed my lungs to inflate and push my heart
away from my chest wall so as to decrease the possibility of
radiation damage to my heart.
 
I woke up at 4:45 a.m. and left the house
by 5:45 to make a 7:00 a.m. radiation appointment
in Manhattan.
 
I’d take the F train to Lex Ave and 63rd Street,
close to an hour from home. Some days I’d walk
in the freezing rain or snow, in the still dark morning.
 
All the while, mourning my son’s death.
All the while thinking: Judah, Judah, Judah.
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.
 
By week two, I had what looked like a sunburn
and I was feeling fatigued after each treatment.
I needed to get ten hours of sleep each night
to feel normal the next day. My New Yorker
walking pace had slowed to the point where I had to tell friends
to slow down because I couldn’t keep up.
 
The radiation oncologist, a tall,
good looking man in a perfectly cut suit and tie,
never told me that I could have what looked
like third degree burns by the time
 
I was done with my five day “boost”
nearing the end of my treatment.
The boost radiation tech
panicked after my third dose,
and sent me to the burn unit.
 
There was a burn unit?
 
Yes, a whole unit dedicated to the burns
that one could incur during radiation. On my last day,
after ringing the bell for making it through,
my breast was so red and raw the tech took
me straight to the unit where a nurse
set me up with bandages, wraps, and silvadene.
 
My treatment was complete right at the beginning of spring break.
I had plans to fly down to Tennessee, and I kept them.
Little did I know that the radiation would continue
to cook my breast.
 
By the time I got there, my entire left breast
and the surrounding area was blistered and on fire.
A two-inch circumference around where my nipple
used to be was a giant, blistery burn.
There were burns under my breast and in my armpit.
 
Eventually my skin sloughed off and there were
open burn sores where the blistered areas had popped.
 
I was on The Farm with my granddaughter
and lifting her up to put her in a swing
on the newly built playground in the woods,
I could feel my skin ripping beneath the bandages.
 
What is wrong with me? I asked myself,
I should be home in my apartment on my couch resting.
I didn’t know it was going to be so bad.
 
Later that evening, I cried in the bathroom
with Judah’s grandmother Mary, as she helped me bandage my burns.
I watched her reflection through the bathroom mirror,
her kind eyes wide as she cried,
Oh Dusty, over and over. Oh Dusty!
 
I didn’t write how deflated the radiologist
looked after walking into the small exam room,
 
a little cocky as he sat down and leaned back
in his chair and stretched his feet out,
so confident as I met with him one year after treatment:
 
This is a time to celebrate, one year cancer free!
What’s to celebrate? I said. My kid is dead.
 

from Rattle #82, Winter 2023
Rattle Poetry Prize Finalist

__________

Dusty Bryndal: “I have written poetry all my life, but began building confidence as a writer and poet when my friend would make me read my poems out loud in her cozy, art-filled living room. I have since found a writing community who taught me that it is OK to write about the raw, ragged details of losing a child and that people want to read about sad things. For the last five years, writing poetry has helped shape my grief and my healing as I navigate the waters of my son’s tragic ending.” (web)

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January 18, 2022

Margarita Cruz

ERASUR

At a buffet, a woman once whispered to my father 
this was America he should speak English
as he slipped on a word, traced it with his tongue and teeth. 
He has a stutter. He has a stutter. 
He used to tell me bedtime stories about his life in Mexico before me, 
before I could speak, before I could tell you 
what the difference was when he described himself as living in a rainforest 
and when I said rainforest and before the person next to you
could tell you what they mean when they say rainforest. 
Podría describir para ti la jungla, but I don’t think it would really matter 
—wouldn’t you just skip over the parts you didn’t really understand? 

How will I be understood if I don’t say it in your language. 
This language. Como puedo ser entendido?
Especially if I myself don’t quite understand.
Mi mama knew what to call herself when I didn’t. 
A full word, full label—didn’t give herself a hyphen. 
She’s an American but they still speak to her slowly.
Her parents were not born here 
and she was not conceived in the United States 
and you can see it on her face like you can see it on mine. 
You can see it on the back of her hands from years in the fields 
and the way she says shares instead of chairs 
because she never really formed that hard “ch” sound, that chiding,
that “I learned this as a child 
and now I’m embarrassed when my mom says ‘shild’ instead of child sound,” 
that my mom tries hard to be someone she isn’t when she’s in front of strangers sound 
—speaks slowly to avoid the tripping on her tongue.

I wonder where she got the idea that there were folds in it like an old rug?
I wonder which asshole child of hers became associated with the idea that she 
should already speak this new language to us correctly,
should already have thrown away her first language like I was, 
should have placed her palabras in italics with context 
and only as tags at the end of a sentence to let us know it would be over soon—
should have sounded more like an American. 
Not a Mexican. Not a Mexican American. 

She told me not to become a hyphen, 
for a hyphenated American doesn’t exist, we don’t exist, 
we’re given a hyphen to make space between us and America 
without it we are neither American or maybe we are, but maybe I’ll lose it—
but what am I when I am neither someone from this tierra or that? 
Por que me miras asi? 

I am slowly learning que yo puedo hablar como me quieres—
que mi mama tried to squeeze herself so tightly to fit into a crack in the wall,
that when she bought us fast food it was only ever one color—
and you are what you eat.  
And for a long time, I thought that only reading writing that didn’t belong to me,
that didn’t mention young women like myself, 
that acknowledged mis palabras como una cosa raro, 
or didn’t mention me at all  was the only way that I should write.
Place myself in a cotton field not so that I could pick it like my family did,
but so that I could wear it. 

Let’s talk on the pouring of refined sugar and milk so heavily into my coffee that  
I’ve lost the taste under it, 
my peculiar blend of two different homes, a peculiar blend of two languages.
My upbringing on one language that sounds invasive, 
like the Mexican petunias that grew in my backyard
passed from family member to family member that weren’t actually invasive 
but rather perennial and anyone who’s taken care of flowers
will tell you that perennials can be tamed, like me, 
can be cut down and gotten rid of
but the wild Mexican petunia is known as aggressive and no wonder—
the people who call it aggressive are afraid of it growing amongst their own plants. 
Afraid that one day it will overgrow and kill the roots they planted.  
    They                       want                 to                 erase                 it. 
What happens when we erase something that grows so naturally? 
What happens when I can no longer remember the first words that slipped from my lips? 
What happens when
What happens
What?

from Rattle #74, Winter 2021

__________

Margarita Cruz: “‘Erasur’ is based off my relationship to the ways in which I feel the hyphen has altered me, has made me pay attention to who I am and who I am not, and the ways in which it clings between both worlds often made me feel as if poetry can narrate the liminal spaces in which people can exist.” (web)

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February 15, 2023

Rattle is proud to announce the winner of the 2022 Rattle Poetry Prize Readers’ Choice Award:

George Bilgere
Cleveland, Ohio
for
Palimpsest

 
The 2022 Readers’ Choice Award was selected from among the Rattle Poetry Prize finalists by subscriber vote. Only those with active subscriptions including issue #78 were eligible. In the closest vote since the exact tie in 2017, “Palimpsest” earned 20.7% of the votes and the $5,000 award, edging out Francesca Bell, who earned 20.3% for “Conduction.” Here is what some of those readers had to say about the winner:

George Bilgere’s “Palimpsest” is the poem that stays with me the most of several memorable poems among the nominees. The speaker’s awareness of the dark side to the beautiful landscape he is bicycling through with his family, of a hateful history that seems on the verge of repeating itself, mixes with a buoyant love of the life he has, particularly “our little boy/new to history,” who “runs laughing under a blazing sun/through the green illiterate meadows.”
—Penelope Moffet

I live in a retirement home in Bern, Switzerland, and give weekly English lessons to the pensionaries. All are native German speakers but some have lived abroad and are thankful for the opportunity to refresh their knowledge. I start each lesson with a poem and selected “Palimpsest.” I had to study it myself first to try and unpick the various layers. So much in the poem is unfortunately still valid today, which makes it even more poignant for the elderly (and that includes me), born in last century Europe, “that last bad century still bleeding into this one.” A great poem, thank you, George!
—Elsa Fischer

George Bilgere uses a deft touch in reminding us of the horror of German history concerning the Jews in Berlin, contrasting it with the innocence of his young son and the beauty of a summer day there. The way he calls up history through graffiti on statues of poets and composers powerfully demonstrates the hatred that still exists. His awkward encounter of it, first thinking of his proficiency in German more than the ongoing prejudice, is so honestly human. Through masterful understatement, he brings back the Holocaust and makes us see what simmers on—that bad last century still bleeding into this one. And it is the poets, the artists, who remind us of the bloodbath, with the red spray paint on their feet as a symbol. The close is perfect, his young son, new to history, laughing and running through the green illiterate meadows. The poem does not have a word out of place. I was drawn in from the start. It is one of those poems that will continue to resonate in me. His tone and clear description, along with terrific word choice, make this work a complete and compelling package.
—Christine Andersen

A gorgeous balance of humor, joy, despair. No head in the sand, but choosing to see and illuminate the light along with the dark.
—José A. Alcántara

This poem speaks of how the past colors the present—the scope of which extends well beyond even that atrocious graffiti. It reaches deeper than despair to find a hint of hope for the future.
—Katie Dozier

I admire the ways in which the poem encapsulates how we try to craft a happy, meaningful life in a violent world. The quirky jumpiness of the speaker’s perceptions balance the heavy spectre of anti-semeitism in Germany. The poem somehow manages to feel light-hearted without seeming dismissive/hopeful without seeming reductive of one of the 20th centuries greatest atrocities. That’s no mean feat.
—Megan Gannon

It’s a difficult subject to handle, the tone is unusual and brilliantly and subtly handled—managing to suggest both the desire to bypass history, especially when one doesn’t want to deposit the weight of it on a young child, and the necessity of not quite ignoring it. And so very much is said in the last line about freedom from history and the need not to be free of history—with those “illiterate meadows.” Terrific title, too. The more I read this poem the more I admire its artistry.
—Judy Kronenfeld

This poem combines the casual and innocent with the horrible in a brilliant way—with humor—so that the juxtaposition at the end becomes heartbreaking. He makes the plunge that hits you in the heart more powerful by climbing up the lightness scale through most of the rest of the poem.
—Jim Daniels

Read “Palmpsest” online right now. To read all of the finalist poems, pick up a copy of Rattle #78, or read them one at a time this month as daily poems at Rattle.com.

George Bilgere was the winner, but this year’s voters were divided, as they always are, and all of the finalists had their own enthusiastic supporters. Every year, it’s an interesting and informative experience reading the commentary. To provide a taste of that, here is a small sample of what our subscribers said about the other finalists:
 

On Francesca Bell’s “Conduction”:

I could feel the gradual increase of the music’s crescendo and its triumphant sound against the man’s angry finger. Lastly, the way she compared his finger to a baton was brilliant, an ending that made me gasp. Just beautiful.
—Richelle Buccilli

The first two lines masterfully set up the tension in the poem and we know that the impertinent man in the car cannot have any idea what the woman in her vehicle has just experienced and that her cilia cannot be rejuvenated. Nonetheless, he is contemptuous toward her and crosses the fine line of harassment, in my opinion. I have cried on the way home from various medical appointments over the years, so the pause this poem invited me into thinking about was the propensity, at some point, to lose one’s hearing. This was beyond astonishing, particularly in knowing that hearing is the last sense in the dying to relinquish itself. Add to this the incredulous power of music, which the speaker in the poem is desperately summoning in the car for temporary solace, in tandem with the last line, his middle finger like a baton. Francesca’s poem escalates in intensity, like a classical musical score and retains its opening power through to the last line.
—Shelly Reed Thieman

 

On Sarah Ederer’s “Basic Needs”:

There are so many amazing things about this poem: it addresses a topic not well-known or acknowledged (severe neglect); it tells a long and powerful story yet leaves me hungry for more at the end; it touches on complex feelings and a complicated situation in a conversational tone, as though speaking to a friend; and its use of choppy, often unpunctuated lines to mimic the chaos of the narrator’s childhood home. It’s difficult to write convincingly about issues surrounding PTSD, and in a way that leaves the reader eager to join the poet in this painful place where the past can be joined with an artful present. But in this poem, Ederer does it beautifully.
—Anne Rankin

The voice is so authentic, funny and sad, but not self-pitying. The poem, at its end, is a triumph for the speaker and for the reader, as well. We all deal with some kind of shit. Great self-awareness and growth about dealing with other people’s shit, which becomes your shit, and what are you going to do about it. This poem does it, and in a wonderfully structured, wild, and surprising way. Literal and metaphorical all at once. The writing hits all the human notes: physical, intellectual, emotional, psychological. I love the way the poem builds, the hard, “shitty” work sometimes of becoming conscious. The use of repetition is masterful. Nothing is “wasted” in this poem, not a word. I didn’t mean to make a pun, but there it is. I loved this poem.
—Susan Browne

 

On Jennifer Griffith’s “Augury”:

This poem is most true to its title, and also the most complex in layers of imagery and meaning. The predictive omens of life after high school, instantly recognizable, flash and crackle throughout the piece. In the highly charged incubator of teens in a school setting, the sexual workings of physical bodies vie with new found emotional highs and lows. Throw in foreshadowing of racism, sexual violence and incarceration, and we are given a vivid reminder of what this experience is. All of this is conveyed with carefully chosen words and form, in a clear and honest voice. I find the poem more rich with repeated readings.
—Nancy Walters

I’m voting for Jennifer Griffith’s “Augury” because the language is so poetic and complex. The first line is stunning, aphoristic, a mysterious first sentence for a horror story, which is what it is, in a way.
—Jendi Reiter

 

On Elizabeth Hill’s “Slut”:

The real-world details, the conflict, and in particular the phantasy made this poem stand out for me. The ironic contrast between the narrator’s real sexual relationship and what her mother fears and her imagination spins up is moving and revelatory.
—Walter Lawn

The title is provocative on its own, yes, but to have a title with that much oomf—and to have the courage to title the poem as such—you better have the poem to back it up. And Hill does. The speaker in her poem is the only speaker I’d ever want to take to dinner. Most of the other speakers in this batch of ten were either whining, grieving, or trying to make me feel sorry for them otherwise. This speaker doesn’t, and the speaker also doesn’t really care what I think. It’s a poem that stands in its own and was not overwritten because it was trying to sound intelligent, or funny … or win a contest. And yet the poem is deserving of all those things. The voice is unmistakable and the truth does not hide itself in Hill’s poem. But the truth is also not over-explained. Most importantly, the speaker in “Slut” is a voice we need to hear.
—Veronica Schorr

 

On Richard Jordan’s “Diary Poems”:

I won’t lie—I’m a sucker for sonnets. Richard Jordan has beautifully illustrated how a character can be developed in few words, even following constraints of rhyme and meter. Words and music sneak up on you. When you read it aloud it slowly dawns how closely this follows the sonnet form, which I especially appreciate these days when any 14 lines of free verse are often declared sonnets. I sometimes wonder why.
—Holly York

As I read Dusk rolls a coral carpet down the stream, a lump formed in my throat.
A hard-pressed woman has passed on her language gift to a grandchild. I love Jordan’s writing—also the way his poem echoes something of what I discovered in my own family: When I was a child, about fifty years ago, my grandma told me she had wanted to be a poet, but she’d completed only eight grades. During my college years, I asked her to tell me more. She brushed away the topic as foolishness. Like Jordan’s, my grandma’s life involved saved feed sacks. On winter evenings, she poured her poetic self into quilting.
—Gloria McElearney

 

On Shannan Mann’s “Your Hands”:

I like the poem for its rawness, it is a deeply painful poem. The poem is powerful and speaks to me and I am sure it would speak to so many others who have faced the wrath of abuse in all forms.
—Masoyo Hunphun Awungashi

I love this poem for many reasons: First of which is how strictly she adheres to the form of the ghazal—an Urdu (Persian/Arabic) form, the rhythm of which she has translated into English almost seamlessly. I see Agha Shahid Ali’s deep influence on her work, especially when she strays from a strict rhyme and experiments with her qaafiya by using the word “palette” as a rhyme of admit/commit/submit. I found the musicality and simplicity of the coupling of the qaafiya and radeef (bit your hands / commit your hands) to be particularly helpful in following the piece along. A ghazal is written in couplets which may or may not connect with each other. They connect, of course, by theme, as well as by radeef. That is, for example, the third couplet could, in theory, be traded for the sixth and no difference will be made to the overall meaning of the piece. But Shannan’s ghazal also works perfectly as a narrative poem. There’s something to be said for the couplets’ relationship to one another when read back to back. Urdu ghazals are sung within a community of passionate poets and lovers of poetry who call back to each other different lines, and repeat the qaafiya and radeef again and again—the chant rising and filling the circle of voices. A ghazal is an act of community—it forever seeks to link, to connect, to respond, to move. Thus, one of the most important aspects of the form is how the individual lines of the couplet respond to each other. Do they displace each other, do they reunite something, do they add, subtract, divide, conquer? What drama is created between the lines? Is there a surprise? Is there a realization? What treasure lies at the end of the rainbow that is the couplet? Shannan’s couplets are complete and full of this tension. Her language is dramatic and grand and in line with the form. The poem is truly a masterclass on the Ghazal, each couplet unique yet subservient to the form in many beautiful ways. It honors the previous masters while simultaneously creating a fresh work as a woman of color in the here and now.
—Karan Kapoor

 

On Candace Moore’s “Projection”:

I started to read, and I started to smile, all the glorious fun, and relatable notions. So simple, yet profound when you reach the ending, a heartfelt surprising twist, the kind that makes a poem memorable.
—Sharon Ferrante

Wry and almost devious is Candace Moore’ poem “Projection.” The touching truth within it is way too familiar to this old reader who only last month underwent scary procedures and surgery on both peepers. Even with the surgery, I still need glasses. I’ve worn them for seventy-four years, so what’s the big deal? But ocular impairment does taunt. A slight irony is that should I see a photo of me without glasses I react as though it’s evidence I suddenly became bald. Moore’s bemusement and stoicism makes me smile when I think of her poem. She is in fact the Buddha reading under a tree.
—Noreen Ayres

 

On Kaitlin Reynolds’s “Patsy”:

This poem surprised me so much that I immediately went back to the beginning and read it again. It was that magic trick of writing: How did the poet get us from where we began—that wry third line (“He calls it Just Driving Around to See What’s What”)—to the exquisitely tender ending of the shared, polite illusion and the reality of the two hands in the car? How did she manage to mix all those disarmingly funny phrases (“a welfare check on the dead”) and come out with a poem I felt so deeply in my body? This poem takes a story that, when summed up in a sentence, might sound banal, like “My husband loved and misses his late mother, and I love him and I see that he loved and misses her.” But the poem does what good poems do: it paints a complex, layered picture of what that emotion/moment looks like: the slight embarrassment of the husband being so fond of his mom, and of the wife caring enough about her husband to allow him space and privacy to have the moment, even when they’re sitting next to each other. It’s a portrait of love in multiple dimensions: she sees the love he has for his mother, and we, at a greater distance, see the love she has for him. And she never really says any of that. Brilliant.
—Amy Miller

I voted for this poem because I like the soft way that loss is weaved within the poem and the way that consolation is threaded in the quiet act of going to visit a loved ones grave.
—Omayya Hussain.

 

On B.A. Van Sise’s “Baseball”:

I am going with “Baseball” by Van Sise. It feels so honest and unadorned. I loved the warm humor in the line “pulled me aside and said what / were to her, surely / the most necessary words / in the American language.” Not English language, but American. What a nuanced choice! Also the ending which hearkens back to a simpler time but is so suggestive in the “uncut” grass. I love this poem on reading and rereading it, and though it’s quiet and low profile, I hope it is the reader’s choice.
—Betsy Mars

It is so hard to come up with a great ending. For this accomplishment alone, in my opinion, Van Sise deserves the prize. In addition to a great ending, the poem is filled with wonderful details, rendered in strong, crisp language, which vividly describe a not always pleasant relationship between a mother, a father, and a son. Throughout the poem, certain words and phrases repeat themselves: the dust of peanuts/peanut dust, America/American, New York Mets x 2, Italian x 3, blue x 3, care x 3. I like the way the two adverbs, surely and gently, are so carefully set off by commas. It’s as if all the repetitions spread throughout the poem set up the reader for the very singular phrase of the last line, which contains the word uncut and is the most “cutting” of all.
—Robert Allen

October 17, 2020

Harkiran (Kiran) Narula (age 15)

HARDEEP

papa has told me this story so many times.
he was young and in the bath, heard his mother
calling his name. there was a bird in the house, it flew
in through the window. he got out of the bath to catch it
with her. he told me how they caught it and let it go.
i like to imagine the room covered in feathers like pillow fights
in the movies. he tells me she was beautiful, and i believe it.
i believe it looking at her wedding picture on my nightstand
that i stole from papa’s room so long ago. i’ve always wondered
about the color of her skin and if her hair had hues of red
by her neck like mine does in the summer, but i’ve only seen
her in black and white. her name was hardeep, and i wonder
how she liked it. if she noticed how it rolls off the tongue
or if she knew it meant light. my parents stole the first three
letters for me, and it’s heavy on my shoulders
to carry her name. heavy like the water in the bathtub.
heavy like cars on the road, like the one that crashed into hers.
papa tells me how they were going to rockefeller
center to see the christmas lights. i picture a boy of five
who looks like my brother in the backseat. he says he saw
her head, dented. i don’t know where you go when you die,
but papa hopes she’s watching us. he’s felt her next to him,
he says he wishes she knew me. i tell him maybe she does.
years after she was gone, papa learned in english class
that when a bird flies into your house, it means something bad
will happen, it means someone will die. sometimes i wonder
if somehow and somewhere that long dead bird has feathers
that are still on the ground. still tainted by her fingertips.
not white like the feathers from pillow fights in the movies
but coated in dirt and mud and rainwater and maybe even
the scent of the lotion she used. when she caught that bird
and let it go, i wonder if following it ever entered her mind.
or if she thought about how you’re never supposed
to touch a bird. or maybe she didn’t think much about
it as much as we do. she’s never seen that memory broken
and dissected. for her, it was just a bird and her little boy.
running and laughter and floors wet from bathtub water.
opening up the window and letting him go.

from 2020 Rattle Young Poets Anthology

__________

Why do you like to write poetry?

Harkiran (Kiran) Narula: “I like writing poetry because I learn more about myself in doing so; I uncover feelings and thoughts that only writing can bring me to realize. Writing is the only way to sort out everything in my mind. To me, poetry is honest, raw and very vulnerable. Writing poetry is one of the only times I can be completely myself.”

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March 15, 2021

Beck Anson

I ADMIT MYSELF TO THE PSYCH WARD IN A PANDEMIC

/
By now I know the drill—
stuff clothes into a bag, pull
the strings out of my sweatpants,
slip on my black slip-on Vans,
clip my fingernails into the trash can
because who knows when I’ll be able to next.
I can’t bring my deodorant because
it has alcohol in the top three ingredients, and yes,
patients actually try to get drunk on their toiletries.
I toss a few books of poetry into the bag;
there is always time to read.
The look in my lover’s eyes says it all—
there is never enough room for her.
/
My friend drives me to the hospital this time.
At the ER I am forced to change into paper scrubs
the color of oxidized blood, not vein blue like last time.
Outside my door sits my own personal bodyguard
but instead of protecting me from other people
he’s there to protect me from myself.
I wear a yellow surgical mask while
the physician assistant writes in his notes
female-to-male transgendered with “top” surgery only.
As if I wasn’t a person; as if it were my genitals
who tied the noose in my bedroom.
/
I speak with the on-call psychiatrist through
an iPad on wheels, and I can’t help but wonder
what is hiding behind his fake desert background?
There are no beds on the voluntary unit,
no beds on the involuntary, either.
I’m to be transferred elsewhere, he says,
like I’m already a body in a bag.
He dismisses me by lifting his hand
to his hairline and tipping an invisible cowboy hat
like he is some kind of psychiatric lone ranger.
/
I wait a whole 24 hours before being admitted
to a locked unit at another hospital
in a sleepy town two hours south of here.
I’m strapped to a stretcher by a man named Reuban,
and all I can think about is how fucking hungry I am.
Through the back of the ambulance I look out
past tears at greening pastures rolling by—
the landscape swinging high to low and back again,
the silos as dilapidated as my will to live.
It’s mid-May in Vermont, and everything
is coming back to life, everything but me.
/
I am greeted by a team of security guards
who escort me up to the ward. One of them
won’t stop talking about how much he loves my name—
you must be some kind of a celebrity.
But my name ignites off his tongue harsh and explosive,
and each time he says it, my eyes grow a little bit darker
because my name is stronger than I’ll ever be.
He brings me to my room, sterile and suicide-proof—
no mirror above the sink, no strings on the blinds;
just a bed bolted to the floor, a weighted chair,
and nowhere to escape from myself.
/
I’m often asked what it is actually like.
The easy answer is styrofoam meal trays, plastic cutlery,
and butternut squash puree—baby food.
It’s checks every 15 minutes, the hours divided
into time I am alone and time I am alone and seen.
It’s sitting cross-legged on the floor of an outdoor enclosure
listening to spring peepers in the distance
and Pink Floyd strumming through the speakers.
It’s the girl with wasps inside her brain,
another who spent her entire stimulus check on cocaine.
It’s the boy who thinks we’re all being controlled by Nazis
and there’s me thinking he’s not exactly wrong, is he?
The hard answer is it’s just like you’d think it would be.
The hard answer is we’re all being controlled by something
we can’t touch or see.

from Rattle #70, Winter 2020
Rattle Poetry Prize Finalist

__________

Beck Anson: “‘I Admit Myself to the Psych Ward in a Pandemic’ speaks to the often experienced disembodiment one feels as a psych patient entering a locked psychiatric unit, specifically during the coronavirus pandemic. I am an emerging queer and trans writer from New England. I write to start a conversation—first with myself, then with others (and sometimes it’s the other way around).” (web)

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