February 21st, 2009
Dave Morrison
REPAIRMAN
The parents had called him to
take a look at their twelve-year-old,
Mikey, because the school had saidthat unless something was done he could
not ride the bus anymore. He’s asleep? asked
the Repairman. The father nodded, Yes, hesleeps like a log. The Repairman gently removed
the top of the sleeping boy’s head and
attached the wires to the video screen. Theboy’s dream showed a spiral staircase going down
and down, and swarming up it like an army of
ants was a long ribbon of angry men wieldinghatchets, each chasing the man in front of them,
racing, unending, up the stairs. He’s obsessed
with revenge, whispered the mother, and what
people think of him. He takes things he doesn’tneed and fights constantly. The Repairman nodded.
He had seen this problem a lot lately. He was glad that
they hadn’t waited until Mikey was older anddangerous. He clicked on his
flashlight and the parents leaned in. OK, see that
blinking red diode? That’s the violence circuit.Now, follow that red wire, to that screw
block…that’s the ego terminal. Now follow that
yellow wire…see? There? The mother drew in abreath. Two crossed wires glowed the angry red of
toaster elements. The father’s face was a question
mark. Fear and pride answered the Repairman,they’re always too close, they get crossed all
the time. Now watch the screen… He reached in
with a long pair of pliers and the screenflickered, and then they watched as the swarm of
men rushed to the top of the stairs, to a parapet
of sorts, and in a steady stream each man leaptfrom the tower dropping his axe and spreading his
arms. They floated like hawks towards the
river valley below.
–from Rattle 29, Summer 2008
This is a decent little story, but why is it considered poetry rather than short fiction? The imagery seems nice, but does it really make sense? The men drop hatchets and become hawks. But hawks have beaks and talons, right? I kind of have trouble with the notion that bad thoughts are just the result of bad circuitry. Life seems to be a little more complicated than that. Also, the line breaks seem to be pretty random and not really well-considered.
I’ll assume that the above comment is genuine and not just deliciously ironic…
On why it’s poetry and not short fiction — I’d say it’s both. It’s the kind of poem that shows how gray the lines are between poetry, prose poetry, and flash fiction. Why is it the former, and not the latter? Maybe just because Dave added line breaks, and this is a poetry journal…
On the line breaks — there’s a whole school of poets who feel like line breaks are inherently pretentious. James Tate and Phil Levine have been writing like this for awhile, and on certain days I can really see where they’re coming from. The whole point of the structure of a poem like this is to make them seem random and not-well-considered, so you don’t pay too much attention to them. I guess maybe they just weren’t random enough?
As for the meaning and imagery, if you don’t enjoy them, I can’t say much, other than that I do. Maybe the men had talons all along?
Imagery aside, I really think my biggest problem with this poem are the line breaks. It seems to me that if you are going to break up a perfectly good sentence, you should have a good reason. Just breaking up sentences so you get something that “looks” like a poem does not seem to be the best artistic decision. I believe that poetry should have certain rythmn (or music) and that is achieved (largely) through the line. I also appreciate prose poems; however, prose poems (as far as I know) don’t have seemingly random line breaks. Do they?
This is just a personal reaction, but to me, even regardless of where the line breaks are, the spatial arrangement on the page serves as a kind of pace car for reading. Poems with very short lines and a lot of white space I read much more slowly than poems that are dense with text. So that’s one thing adding line breaks does, even when the intent of the breaks is to make them feel unimportant.
But again, I’d have to point back to a poet like James Tate — of course you’d have the same complaint reading him, but I find his work very enjoyable:
http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/16447
Do I prefer careful line breaks, and more attention to the music of the language? Yes, actually, I do. But I think it’s also important to accept the spirit of what the poet is trying to do, and enjoy what’s going on, even if you might not have chosen to do it the same way yourself.
It’s the first time I comment here and I should say that you share genuine, and quality information for other bloggers! Good job.
p.s. You have a very good template for your blog. Where have you got it from?