Thom Ward

THE THING IN QUESTION

From the start He-Got-It got it, perhaps because he came from a long line of indefinite pronouns.
        Good morning, sweetie, said his Mother, I-Take-It-You-Agree. Darling, even though you get it, I will get it for you the rest of your life.
        Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, said his father, You-Can’t-Avoid-It. I hate it when you help him get it. He’s got to learn to work for it or he’ll never get anywhere.
        And so it went. Knocked in all directions by I-Take-It-You-Agree and You-Can’t-Avoid-It, so much so that some nights He-Got-It couldn’t recall what he was getting, what he had got. Then came the day his mother gave birth to smiling twin girls: It-Must-Be-Love and Isn’t-It-Adorable. Suddenly, it was too late to get it, hide it or run from it. And so he changed his name to Make-It-A-Double.

–from Rattle #26, Winter 2006